If you have been faced with your partners sexual betrayal, dishonesty, lack of transparency, minimizing, denial, blaming, shaming, gas-lighting, deflecting, and other common defenses sex addicts may attempt to use to avoid taking personal accountability and consequences, you may need a full formal disclosure prepared with the help of a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and an APSATS trained therapist and Polygraph Test to regain your equal standing in your relationship. When traumatizing pieces of information come out a little bit at a time, when you and your partner are alone, this staggered disclosure may damage you and your relationship further. Think carefully instead of impulsively to get the best results.
The following documents were created to help you in the full disclosure process:
RESOURCE FROM THE HELPING COUPLES HEAL PODCAST - EPISODE 32: THERAPEUTIC SEPARATION
"In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane address therapeutic separation in the context of betrayal and relational trauma, a topic often talked about but not often understood. They discuss everything from what it is and what it is not to why a therapeutic separation can feel threatening or scary and why (if used correctly and with professional support and guidance) it can be a practical intervention for couples trying to heal their relationships after betrayal."
Click HERE to Listen on Apple Podcasts
Click HERE to go to the Episode Website
Click HERE for More Episodes of Helping Couples Heal Podcast
BOOKS TO CONSIDER DURING FORMAL DISCLOSURE:
1. Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal: Volume 1: How Disclosure Can Help You Heal - by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill -
THIS BOOK IS FOR PARTNERS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED SEXUAL BETRAYAL. Have you discovered your partner's sexual secrets? Are you looking for a way to seek the extent of the betrayal you've experienced in a safe way? If you're looking for a guide to help you walk through the Full Disclosure process, we've designed this workbook series to help you. In this volume, you will learn what a Full Disclosure is and determine if it's right for you. Volume 2 will help you prepare for the Full Disclosure. Volume 3 will help you heal post-disclosure. Through examples, questions, and through the shared experiences of others, we've created a supportive way for you to navigate a complex, difficult process. Designed to be used with your partner's companion workbook, "Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal," this resource can help you heal after sexual betrayal.
2. Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal - Volume Two for Partners: Preparing for Disclosure on Your Terms - by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill -
Have you discovered sexual betrayal? Are you unable to heal your heart and relationship from betrayal trauma without knowing the full truth? Have you determined that you need a professionally-guided disclosure but are unsure how to prepare so your needs are addressed? If any of those questions apply, this workbook series is for you. Volume Two for Partners assists you in preparing for a disclosure on your own terms, by defining your needs and how to get them fulfilled, your boundaries and how to stand firm in them, and your personal healing by how you prepare yourself. This step-by-step guide not only helps you survive the painful experience of coming into full truth, but also supports you to grow stronger along the way. Used in companion with your spouse’s version, Full Disclosure: How to Share Truth After Sexual Betrayal, these parallel workbooks guide each of you through a therapeutic disclosure with a common understanding, common language, and a common goal of restoring the foundation of truth in your relationship.
3. Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal: Volume Three for Partners - Post Disclosure Healing - by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill -
Completed a formal disclosure of sexual betrayal and don’t where to go from here? Feeling fractured and need direction on how to heal your heart or your relationship? If any of these questions apply, this workbook is for you. This workbook is the third in a series that takes you through the disclosure of sexual secrets, to the post-disclosure process, and the development of a Partner Impact Statement. These tools help you to move through grief to reclaim and use your voice – from pain to empowerment. Used in companion with your spouse’s version, Full Disclosure: How to Share Trust After Sexual Betrayal, these workbooks guide each of you through the post-disclosure process.
4. Full Disclosure: Preparing Partners for Full Disclosure by Janice Caudill and Dan Drake-
Are you preparing for a full disclosure after sexual betrayal? Are you stuck trying to figure out how the disclosure process works, how to prepare for a disclosure, or what kinds of questions to ask? If you are looking for tools to better prepare for a full disclosure after sexual betrayal, this workbook breaks down the disclosure preparation process for you. As you follow this guide you will learn how to prepare mentally and emotionally for your disclosure, as well as how to best structure what you want and need out of the disclosure.
5. Surviving Disclosure: A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust by Jennifer P Schneider M.D., M. Deborah Corley Ph.D. -
Surviving Disclosure, helps partners better understand the trauma resulting from the addict’s behaviors and offers a step-by-step guide for how to begin the healing process, prepare for the impact of living with an addict (even an addict in recovery), and deal with shame, anger and fear. The book describes what to tell the children and others, how to promote self-care and well-being no matter what the addict does, and how to set boundaries as part of rebuilding trust.
Click HERE to visit our BETRAYED PARTNER OR SPOUSES page
Click HERE to visit our POLYGRAPH INFORMATION page
Click HERE to visit our SELF-CARE page
Click HERE to visit our SUPPORT GROUP FOR BETRAYED PARTNERS page
Susan Zola, LCSW, CCPS, CSAT
Licensed In: Arizona, Connecticut, Florida, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Texas, and Virginia
Bachelor of Arts, Psychology – SUNY Binghamton, 1980
Master of Social Work – Adelphi University School of Social Work, 1982.
Private Practice – "Mind Over Matters," 2006.
LCSW License #078530-1
APSATS The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists
CSAT Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
IITAP The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals
CCPS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist