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Helpful Books

As We Begin Our Therapeutic Journey Together, Consider Reading:

GLOSSARY OF TERMS: bp-glossary-of-terms.pdf





AudioBook from Audible - Accidentally Brave
  • By: Maddie Corman
  • Narrated by: Maddie Corman
  • Length: 1 hr and 30 mins
Listen to Audiobook HERE

Courageous, daring, and unflinchingly honest, ACCIDENTALLY BRAVE is an inspiring true story about discovering a new normal when the familiar world falls apart, a must-see examination of what it means to navigate a world with no certainty. Maddie Corman’s profoundly personal play challenges perceptions, captivates audiences, and sparks an emotionally charged discussion that will leave you wondering: What would I do?

The unimaginable hits the home of Mrs. Corman. She’s left wondering, now what? Maddie candidly shares her deeply personal story of growth and healing through turmoil that could have easily destroyed her marriage and family. Maddie explains what happens when her husband’s long kept secret is revealed.

In this unflinchingly honest one-woman play, Maddie tells an inspiring true story about discovering a new normal when everything she thought she knew came undone. With raw vulnerability and unexpected humor, actress and playwright Maddie Corman delivers her story of perseverance and hope when the unthinkable tests her marriage, family, and values.

Originally Produced live by Daryl Roth
Original Theatrical Sound Design by Bart Fasbender
Original Music composed by Claire Wellin


Note: Accidentally Brave includes explicit language and discussion of adult themes. Discretion is advised.


“…[a] completely absorbing solo piece…about how the discovery of [Maddie Corman’s husband’s] secret affected her and what she decided to do about it for her own well-being, her kids’ well-being and yes, the well-being of her husband and of their marriage…Despite moments of expressing pure hatred for her husband, she doesn’t stop loving him. And there’s extraordinary power and bravery within her compassion, making ACCIDENTALLY BRAVE a truly uplifting experience…”
— BROADWAYWORLD.COM



TOP TEN RECOMMENDED READS AS YOU START YOUR HEALING JOURNEY: 


1. Facing The Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery by Patrick Carnes - "For all addicts, a moment comes when they realize they have a problem. There is sudden clarity—the insight that life has become unmanageable. That moment, however, is fragile. It is easily lost to craving and denial. People struggling with sex addiction find the old refrains creeping back into their thinking: My situation is different. . . . This will all blow over. . . . People are over-reacting to my behavior. Or, This is hopeless. I'm just too perverted to change.
"If any of those thoughts occur to you, you are exactly where you should be," notes Dr. Patrick Carnes in the introduction to Facing the Shadow. Starting with those gentle words, he guides readers through a series of reflections and exercises that pierce denial and light the path to healing from sex addiction. Facing the Shadow, used by thousands of therapists with their clients, is based on the thirty-task model of recovery from addiction that forms the basis of Carnes's work. This newly revised and expanded edition takes readers through the first seven of those tasks, including specific performables that are built in to the exercises. The model also supports Twelve Step recovery programs."

2. Recovery Zone by Patrick Carnes - "Recovery Zone, Volume One picks up where Facing the Shadow leaves off, guiding readers to begin working tasks eight through thirteen of Dr. Patrick Carnes' innovative thirty-task model. This book helps readers understand that true recovery is achieved by learning to cope with difficult situations and emotions. Stopping addictive behavior is the only way to start recovery. However, stopping the behavior is not enough to stay in recovery. True recovery is achieved by learning to cope with difficult situations and emotions. Dr. Patrick Carnes helps readers know how to deal with difficult affective states and guides them to a place of resilience so they can decide what is important in their lives. Readers will learn how to live optimally in their Recovery Zone. The work sets the stage for recovery tasks 8-13, providing readers with a practical approach to recognize the underlying emotional causes that perpetuate the addiction cycle."

3. Facing Heartbreak by Stefanie Carnes - "When you discover that the person you loved and trusted most in the world is hiding a secret life as a sex addict, the result can be devastating. Facing that heartbreak is what this book is all about. The healing process will take time regardless of whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave. Facing Heartbreak weaves real life stories with practical therapeutic advice and specific tasks that gently educate, empower, and guide the partner of the sex addict through a process of recovery. Using Dr. Patrick Carnes' thirty-task sex recovery model, readers will learn to heal from the heartbreak and betrayal as they discover hope and healing."

4. Courageous Love: A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal by Stefanie Carnes - "There is nothing that can rupture the loving connection between a couple like betrayal. Courageous Love provides a step-by-step guide for repairing your relationship, whether it is damaged by infidelity, pornography, or compulsive and addictive sexual behavior. Dr. Carnes teaches couples how to respond to one another with compassion and empathy and how to hold onto hope for their relationship."

5. No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz - "Is there just one “you”? We’ve been taught to believe we have a single identity, and to feel fear or shame when we can’t control the inner voices that don’t match the ideal of who we think we should be. Yet Dr. Richard Schwartz’s research now challenges this “mono-mind” theory. “All of us are born with many sub-minds―or parts,” says Dr. Schwartz. “These parts are not imaginary or symbolic. They are individuals who exist as an internal family within us―and the key to health and happiness is to honor, understand, and love every part.”"

6a. Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal by Carol Juergenen Sheets and Allan J. Katz - "Carol Juergenen Sheets and Allan J. Katz have created a workbook/roadmap for rebuilding relationships damaged by sexual addiction and other forms of infidelity. With a focus on empathy – understanding what the betrayed partner is feeling; the exercises in this guidebook will help sex addicts rebuild lost trust and intimacy. This is a recipe for healing a broken relationship."

6b. The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by by Michelle Mays LPC CSAT-S -What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain? The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.  Discovering a partner’s sexual betrayal spins your world out of control. In a split second, your sense of safety is shattered, your trust is gone, and everything you thought you could count on is in question.  Betrayed partners, whether dealing with an isolated infidelity or a pattern of sexual compulsivity, need immediate support to navigate the new terrain of their relationship. They need a clear articulation of betrayal trauma, a thorough education about their normal attachment-based reactions, and a proven path to healing.  By focusing on how a partner’s attachment system functions in the wake of sexual betrayal, The Betrayal Bind offers a new, game-changing exploration into an age-old problem and connects the dots from research to the lived experience of betrayed partners.


7. Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown - "Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and to be stewards of the stories that we hear. In Atlas of the Heart, we explore eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human and walk through a new framework for cultivating meaningful connection. This is for the mapmakers and travelers in all of us."

8. What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing - by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry - his book is going to change the way you see your life. Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”"

9. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- "Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments - from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga - that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal - and offers new hope for reclaiming lives."

10. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz - "In The Four Agreements, bestselling author Don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love."









Full Disclosure


  • Full Disclosure: Preparing Partners for Full Disclosure by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill - Are you preparing for a full disclosure after sexual betrayal? Are you stuck trying to figure out how the disclosure process works, how to prepare for a disclosure, or what kinds of questions to ask? If you are looking for tools to better prepare for a full disclosure after sexual betrayal, this workbook breaks down the disclosure preparation process for you. As you follow this guide you will learn how to prepare mentally and emotionally for your disclosure, as well as how to best structure what you want and need out of the disclosure.

  • Surviving Disclosure: A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust by Jennifer P Schneider M.D., M. Deborah Corley Ph.D. - Surviving Disclosure, helps partners better understand the trauma resulting from the addict’s behaviors and offers a step-by-step guide for how to begin the healing process, prepare for the impact of living with an addict (even an addict in recovery), and deal with shame, anger and fear. The book describes what to tell the children and others, how to promote self-care and well-being no matter what the addict does, and how to set boundaries as part of rebuilding trust.

  • Disclosing Secrets: An Addict's Guide for When, to Whom, and How Much to Reveal - by M Deborah Corley Ph.D. , Jennifer P Schneider M.D. - Based on the latest research of the impact of disclosure, this updated and rewritten edition of Disclosing Secrets presents the best approach for addressing one of the most difficult challenges any sex addict must face – sharing information about his or her sex addiction. 
  • Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal: Volume 1: How Disclosure Can Help You Heal by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill - THIS BOOK IS FOR PARTNERS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED SEXUAL BETRAYAL. Have you discovered your partner's sexual secrets? Are you looking for a way to seek the extent of the betrayal you've experienced in a safe way? If you're looking for a guide to help you walk through the Full Disclosure process, we've designed this workbook series to help you. In this volume, you will learn what a Full Disclosure is and determine if it's right for you. Volume 2 will help you prepare for the Full Disclosure. Volume 3 will help you heal post-disclosure. Through examples, questions, and through the shared experiences of others, we've created a supportive way for you to navigate a complex, difficult process. Designed to be used with your partner's companion workbook, "Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal," this resource can help you heal after sexual betrayal.
  • Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal - Volume Two for Partners: Preparing for Disclosure on Your Terms by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill - Have you discovered sexual betrayal? Are you unable to heal your heart and relationship from betrayal trauma without knowing the full truth? Have you determined that you need a professionally-guided disclosure but are unsure how to prepare so your needs are addressed? If any of those questions apply, this workbook series is for you. Volume Two for Partners assists you in preparing for a disclosure on your own terms, by defining your needs and how to get them fulfilled, your boundaries and how to stand firm in them, and your personal healing by how you prepare yourself. This step-by-step guide not only helps you survive the painful experience of coming into full truth, but also supports you to grow stronger along the way. Used in companion with your spouse’s version, Full Disclosure: How to Share Truth After Sexual Betrayal, these parallel workbooks guide each of you through a therapeutic disclosure with a common understanding, common language, and a common goal of restoring the foundation of truth in your relationship.
  • Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal: Volume Three for Partners - Post Disclosure Healing by Dan Drake, Janice Caudill - Have your secret sexual behaviors recently been discovered? Are you stuck in knowing what to share, how much to share, and how to not traumatize your partner with too many gory details about your past? Has your therapist asked you to do a "Formal Disclosure" but you have no idea how to do that? Do you want to begin a life of honesty, integrity, and transparency? IF ANY OF THOSE QUESTIONS APPLY, THIS WORKBOOK IS FOR YOU. This guide walks you through a comprehensive approach to providing a full disclosure of your sexual past to your partner. We help you break down the entire process, offering you a step-by-step approach to sharing your past and restoring a foundation of truth in your relationship. Through examples, questions, and through the shared experiences of others, we've created a way for you to navigate a complex, difficult process. Designed to be used with your partner's companion workbook, "Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal," this resource can help you build a new life and relationship that's based on honesty and integrity.Note: This workbook includes a comprehensive guide to preparing for your Full Disclosure, broken up into three volumes. This includes a guide to help you understand what a disclosure is and if it's right for you, preparing a disclosure document and preparing for the disclosure session, as well as preparation post-disclosure. If you only need structured support around preparing your disclosure document, please see our resource, "Your Disclosure Document: A 10-Step Guide for Preparing Your Disclosure Document."


Reading For Betrayed Partners

  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens and  Marsha Means -  Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships.
  • Facing Heartbreak- by Stefanie Carnes, PhD, Mari A. Lee, LMFT and Anthony D.Rodriguez, LCSW. - When you discover that the person you loved and trusted most in the world is hiding a secret life as a sex addict, the result can be devastating. Facing that heartbreak is what this book is all about. The healing process will take time regardless of whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave. Facing Heartbreak weaves real life stories with practical therapeutic advice and specific tasks that gently educate, empower, and guide the partner of the sex addict through a process of recovery. Using Dr. Patrick Carnes' thirty-task sex recovery model, readers will learn to heal from the heartbreak and betrayal as they discover hope and healing.
  • Mending a Shattered Heart by Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D. - Anyone who has discovered their loved one, the one person that they are supposed to trust completely, has been cheating on them will want to read this book. Readers have an opportunity to explore whether the person they are in a relationship with is simply behaving badly or truly suffers from a disease called sex addiction. Knowing the difference and knowing what to do about it can be transformational.
  • The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes - Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds--chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power. In The Betrayal Bond Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships.
  • Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell - A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. 
  • Intimate Treason by Claudia Black - A self-help manual for partners affected by sex addiction Those who act out sexually, whether through pornography, cybersex, prostitutes, voyeurism, and/or multiple affairs, leave their partners reeling in rage, incredible shame, and isolation. In this taboo-shattering and practical guidebook, partners affected by sex addiction can learn to develop healthy boundaries and make positive changes in their lives.
  • Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships by Kelly McDaniel. - Ready to Heal provides an opportunity for women to break free from painful addictive relationships. Kelly McDaniel provides the reader with the tools they will need to move along the path of living a life where intimacy is possible. Readers have an opportunity to begin to "connect the dots" in their own relationship patterns by following the stories of four brave women.
  • “An Affair of the Mind" by Laurie Hall -  Laurie Hall's story reveals pornography's subversive side and offers comfort, encouragement, insight, and a plan of action to women whose husbands are addicted.
  •  Ambushed by Betrayal by Allan J Katz and Michele Saffier CSATS - Infidelity, gaslighting, and deception shatter the most sacred part of a committed relationship, the attachment. The foundation upon which your relationship house is built is demolished in an instant, leaving unsuspecting partners in rubble and twisted wires trying to make sense of what just happened. This is Betrayal Trauma. With the experience and wisdom of twenty-four years working with betrayed partners and utilizing the methods developed, Michele F. Saffier and Allan J. Katz offer you a self-guided process of healing, unlike any other—a heroes’ journey.
  • Unstuck: Move from Powerless to Empowered in Your Relationships by Charlene Benson - Are You Stuck in a Relationship Ditch? Finding yourself in in conflict in a relationship—for the first or umpteenth time—leads to feeling frustrated and powerless, like you’re stuck in a ditch. Relationship coach Charlene Benson shows you how to experience change and gain momentum by helping you:  Understand the hidden reasons that drive your behaviors ; Ditch old patterns and embrace a healthier way of loving and experiencing love ; Discover powerful pathways to help you avoid giving up in defeat or getting stuck at an impasse ; Choose effective responses over toxic reactions. 
  • Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide by Tracy Schorn - Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity -- but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters -- their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the-cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Combining solid advice that champions self-respect, along with hilarious cartoons satirizing the pomposity of cheaters, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on Stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, Rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, Why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more.
  • A Partner’s Guide to Truth and Healing: A Healing Journey for Betrayed Partners by John Sternfels, LPC, NCC,CCPS,CSAT,CMAT,C-SASI. - When infidelity occurs, betrayed partners enter into a state of emotional distress. In a flash, their world is suddenly turned upside down. With no help in sight, no one to turn to, and no one to help, they find themselves alone, shocked, angry, and scared. Their world becomes filled with hypervigilance, avoidance behaviors, flashbacks, sleep disturbances, mood and health problems, rumination thoughts, etc. Contained within the pages of this book, John Sternfels provides a pathway to truth and healing. Partners will gain a clearer understanding of what has happened and what is needed to heal. Regardless of where you are in the journey, betrayal is a season in a partner's life but must not become a destination or a permanent identity.
  • I love you but I don't trust you by Mira Kirshenbaum - Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
  • Prodependence: Moving Beyond Dependency by Robert Weiss - With Prodependence, Dr. Robert Weiss offers us the first fully new paradigm in over 35 years for helping those who love and care for addicts. An attachment-focused model, prodependence recognizes that no one can ever love too much, nor should anyone be pathologized for whomever they choose to love as is often the case. 
  • The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love by Pia Mellody - In her first book in over 10 years, Pia Mellody—author of the groundbreaking bestsellers Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction—shares her profound wisdom on what it takes to sustain true intimacy and trusting love in our most vital relationships. Drawing on more than 20 years' experience as a counsellor at the renowned Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, Mellody now shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falter—and what makes them work. Using the most up–to–date research and real–life examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for relationships that achieve and maintain joyous intimacy.
  • Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody - Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.
  • Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melody Beattie - The New York Times bestselling self-help book that offers advice on how to find and choose the recovery program for you, as well as a directory of the wide range of Twelve Step programs, including AA, Codependents Anonymous, Codependents of Sex Addicts, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and more.
  • The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation by Melody Beattie - The New Codependency is an owner’s manual to learning to be who you are and gives you the tools necessary to reclaim your life by renouncing unhealthy practices.
  • Reflections of Hope by S-Anon - S-Anon’s first daily meditation book. Reflections of Hope embraces the voices of S-Anon men, women and teens, all touched by the effects of another person’s sexual behavior. This collection of readings reflects the hope that comes from the experience of banding together to solve our common problems.
  • The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner - In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
  • The Betrayed Husband's Survival Guide by Gary Owens -  The Betrayed Husband’s Survival Guide shares practical tips and advice as the author shares his story of recovery from betrayal by a sexually addicted spouse.
  • For Love and Money by Debra Kaplan - For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual and Financial Betrayal in Relationships turns a provocative, literary lens on the worlds of sex, money and relational power. After closing a successful chapter on Wall Street, Ms. Kaplan merged her fascination with narcissism, power and control with her studies in psychology. For over a decade, Ms. Kaplan has been a licensed psychotherapist treating problems related to sex addiction, money, and relationships. For Love and Money, delivers an unparalleled and cutting-edge perspective about sexual, financial and relational exploitation from Wall Street to Main Street; boardroom to bedroom. This exploration merges academic investigation, therapeutic narrative and case study. It is a ground breaking must read for those individuals interested in restoring sexual and financial health to your life and your loves.
  • How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self  by Nicole LePera - In How to Do the Work, she offers both a manifesto for Self Healing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell. In How to Do the Work, Dr. LePera offers readers the support and tools that will allow them to break free from destructive behaviors to reclaim and recreate their lives. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, this is a celebration of empowerment that will forever change the way we approach mental wellness and self-care.
  • The State Of Affairs-Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel - The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”    
  • Post-Romantic Stress Disorder: What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over by John Bradshaw - In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love. Based on his research, PRSD is a deeply serious psychological disorder and the cause of 40% of all divorces –divorces that could have been prevented. Every day people throw away perfectly good relationships because they just don't know how to navigate the tides, but if they could learn and understand the concepts Bradshaw presents in this book, the portrait of the family unit could have a whole new landscape.
  • Should I Stay or Should I Go? - A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can- And Should- Be Saved by Lundy Bangcroft and Jac Patrissi - If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to: • Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working • Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems • Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority • Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner  • Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving • Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them.
  • Daily Wisdom for ‘Why Does He Do That?’” - Lundy Bancroft - collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use to learn how to value and respect yourself—even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not.
  • Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Sheri Coffer -  Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out. Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.
  • Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men by Joe Kort - Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? is intended to help couples understand how male sexuality can express itself in ways that may be difficult to understand. Many marriages have been hurriedly terminated when couples (and their therapists) have lacked the information they needed to understand their current situations. This book provides the clarity, describes the choices, and (in many cases) offers hope for relationships and marriages that have been brushed off as doomed.
  • Tell Me No Lies by Ellen Bayer, Ph.D. - Everybody lies. Friends lie to friends. Children lie to their parents. Politicians lie to constituents. And, inevitably, husbands and wives lie to each other. Lies between lovers have tremendous potential to both nurture and destroy a relationship. It is easy to underestimate the power that lies-even seemingly harmless lies-can wield in your marriage. Tell Me No Lies explores the complexity of honesty versus deception in marriage and reveals the many reasons behind the lies we tell our partners (and ourselves).
  • Unleashing Your Power: Moving Through the Trauma of Partner Betrayal by Carol Juergensen Sheets and Christine Turo-Shields - This workbook was written to assist partners in finding themselves again after their relationship has been shattered by sexual betrayal. Bestselling author, Carol Juergensen Sheets, co-wrote this book with Christine Turo-Shields to help partners move through the 3 stages of partner betrayal. The workbook assists you in finding safety and stabilization by working through your feelings of confusion, disorientation and self-doubt which is a natural by-product of deception. 
  • Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating your Sexual Health Plan by Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D. - Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan, by Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., helps you uncover and embrace your unique, optimal sexuality. Carefully researched, designed, and clinically tested, the Workbook gives you a powerful new program to achieve your authentic sexual expression.
  • The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs by Peggy Vaughan - In this landmark book, Peggy Vaughan helps us to understand the stages of suspicion, confrontation, and the healing process necessary to recover, including rebuilding self-esteem, the marriage/divorce dilemma, and seeking professional help. Packed with practical, time-tested advice and successful strategies, this authoritative guide reveals: You are not alone—estimates are that at least 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. ; People from all walks of life have affairs—devoted parents, religious individuals, regardless of income or social class. ; Our society contributes to the prevalence of affairs. ; An affair does not mean the end of a marriage. ; Recovery is fueled by honest, open discussion of the affair. Substantiated by case studies, ongoing research, and the author's own experience, this updated third edition includes information on the role of the Internet in relationships, shares the words of others who are recovering from affairs, and describes the six-step program for establishing communication between partners that can actually prevent affairs.
  • The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook: Practical Mind-Body Tools to Heal Trauma, Foster Resilience and Awaken Your Potential by Arielle Schwartz - Within these pages, you will find an invitation to see yourself as the hero or heroine of your own life journey. A hero's journey involves walking into the darkness on a quest for wholeness. This interactive format calls for journaling and self-reflection, with practices that guide you beyond the pain of your past and help you discover a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Successful navigation of a hero's journey provides opportunities to discover that you are more powerful than you had previously realized.
  • Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler - In this book, Kessler gives readers a roadmap to remembering those who have died with more love than pain; he shows us how to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones. Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son.
  • Battle of the Titans: Mastering the Forces of Sex, Money, and Power in Relationships by Debra L. Kaplan - Battle of the Titans: Mastering the Forces of Sex, Money, and Power in Relationships is a compelling and constructive dive into modern-day power dynamics. Framed in Greek mythology, personal narrative and therapeutic intervention, author and therapist, Debra Kaplan provides essential tools and insights to: Successfully harness authentic power, Identify exploitation and engage healthy boundaries, Clarify the underlying attachment styles in relationships that contribute to over-valuation and under-valuation of self, Create healthy sexual and financial boundaries in relationship.
  • I am Her Tribe by Danielle Doby - Positive and powerful, I Am Her Tribe is a collection of poetry drawing on the viral Instagram handle and online hashtag that serves to create moments of connection through empowerment and storytelling. Focusing on inspiration, Doby's poetry invites its reader to "Come as you are. Your tribe has arrived.  Your breath can rest here."
  • Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy by Jenna Riemersma - Therapist and speaker Jenna Riemersma applies the groundbreaking insights of Internal Family Systems (IFS) for anyone who feels stuck in unwanted feelings and behaviors, with a special focus on personal transformation for readers of faith. In Altogether You, she explains why our parts are so often at war—parts of us wanting to please others and do things right while other parts seem bent on acting out, shutting down, or engaging in hurtful behaviors. Jenna explores the surprising IFS insight that our warring parts are actually trying to help us, even when what they’re doing or feeling is not helpful. By genuinely welcoming all our parts and learning how to access our God-created core Self, we can finally experience the change, integration, and wholeness we’ve been looking for.
  • The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person you Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by Michelle Mays LPC CSAT-S - What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain? The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. 
  • Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition): Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy T. Behary LCSW - Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
  • Pillow Talk: The Intimate Marriage from A to Z by Karen Scalf Linamen - Great sex between a husband and wife is built on emotional and spiritual intimacy. With warmth and wit, Karen Linamen offers Christian women a fresh look at a wonderful part of marriage. Through candid discussion, she helps readers develop a more passionate and fulfilling marriage and realize that romance can take a lot of work--and be a lot of fun. Readers will enjoy Linamen's humor and value her insight into the gift of sex.
  • The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook: Practical Mind-Body Tools to Heal Trauma, Foster Resilience and Awaken Your Potential by Arielle Schwartz  - Within these pages, you will find an invitation to see yourself as the hero or heroine of your own life journey. A hero's journey involves walking into the darkness on a quest for wholeness. This interactive format calls for journaling and self-reflection, with practices that guide you beyond the pain of your past and help you discover a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Successful navigation of a hero's journey provides opportunities to discover that you are more powerful than you had previously realized.
  • Transformations: A Woman's Journey of Self-Discovery by by Carol Juergensen Sheets (Author), Christine Turo-Shields (Author), Chris Bordey (Illustrator) -  Transformations will change your life! As therapists with many decades of combined experience working with women, we have watched the exercises in this book dramatically change the lives of women. Women have been asking us to compile these activities so they could pass them along to their daughters, friends and their mothers. With this workbook, you have everything you need to create lasting transformation.We believe that within yourself, you possess everything you need to change your life. However, there may be obstacles which are holding you back from realizing your own potential. This book will help you unlock your personal power and make the necessary changes to create the life you envision and deserve.Transformations provides therapeutically sound methods of promoting self-growth and change. You will be amazed at the breakthroughs that occur as you feel your feelings, identify your needs, manage anger, promote self-esteem, develop assertiveness, and deal with pivotal family-of- origin issues that will move you into the progressive stages of change. 


    Books Regarding Boundaries: 
    • Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries by Anne Katherine M.A. - Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others.
    • Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud, John Townsend - In Boundaries in Marriage, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, teach us that healthy boundaries are the property lines that define and protect you and your spouse as individuals. Once you have them in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved.
    • Boundaries in Marriage Workbook by Henry Cloud, John Townsend - This hands-on workbook companion to Boundaries in Marriage will help you move beyond friction points to the mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy you and your spouse long for.
    • Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab - End the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself. Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them--in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do "healthy boundaries" really mean--and how can we successfully express our needs, say "no," and be assertive without offending others?
    • The Set Boundaries Workbook: Practical Exercises for Understanding Your Needs and Setting Healthy Limits by Nedra Glover Tawwab - An accessible, step-by-step resource for setting, communicating, and enforcing healthy boundaries at home, at work, and in life. We all want to have healthy boundaries. But what does that really mean – and what steps are needed to implement them in our daily lives? Sought-after therapist and relationship expert Nedra Glover Tawwab presents clear explanations and interactive exercises to help you gain insight and then put it into action. Filled with thought-provoking checklists, questions, writing prompts, and more, The Set Boundaries Workbook is a valuable tool for everyone who wants to speak up for what they want and need, and show up more authentically in the world.
    • Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab -  Every family has a story. For some of us, our family of origin is a solid foundation that feeds our confidence and helps us navigate life’s challenges. For others, it’s a source of pain, hurt, and conflict that can feel like a lifelong burden. In this empowering guide, licensed therapist and bestselling relationship expert Nedra Glover Tawwab offers clear advice for identifying dysfunctional family patterns and choosing the best path to breaking the cycle and moving forward. Covering topics ranging from the trauma of emotional neglect, to the legacy of addicted or absent parents, to mental health struggles in siblings and other relatives, and more, this clear and compassionate guide will help you take control of your own life—and honor the person you truly are.
    • Whole-Body Sex: Somatic Sex Therapy and the Lost Language of the Erotic Body by Melissa Walker - Weaving together somatic psychotherapy, dance/movement therapy, and sex therapy approaches, this uniquely interdisciplinary and practical book offers guidance on how to strengthen your connection with pleasure, receptivity, and ecstasy in an embodied way. Melissa Walker contextualizes the erotic body as being embedded in a sex-negative culture. Taking an experiential somatic approach, this book helps readers map the erotic self to establish a whole-body sexuality, becoming an important sexuality ally in a larger social movement toward erotic inclusiveness. This groundbreaking text illuminates how to shed the harmful messages that an individual has internalized about their sexuality, to learn the language of their somatic self, and begin to build a whole-body appreciation for their creative potential. 
    • The Sexual Alarm System: Women's Unwanted Response to Sexual Intimacy and How to Overcome by Judith Leavitt - The Sexual Alarm System: Women’s Unwanted Response to Sexual Intimacy and How to Overcome It by Judith Leavitt explores the shield that develops around many women’s bodies to protect them from real and perceived sexual intrusions and dangers. From a young age, women are socialized to regard their sexuality as something that puts them in danger. However, the Sexual Alarm System interferes with a woman’s ability to be sexual when she wants to be. Leavitt discusses how the Alarm functions, how it develops, what triggers it, and how it interferes with a woman’s ability to be sexual in an intimate partnership. In addition, this book presents specific body exercises for therapists to give to women to work through this Alarm and to develop the ability to enjoy their sexuality.

Reading For The Unfaithful Or Sex Addicted Partner


  • Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery by Patrick Carnes - Facing the Shadow, used by thousands of therapists with their clients, is based on the thirty-task model of recovery from addiction that forms the basis of Carnes's work. This newly revised and expanded edition takes readers through the first seven of those tasks, including specific performables that are built in to the exercises. The model also supports Twelve Step recovery programs.
  • Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes - Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives. Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research--and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction--this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.
  • Recovery Zone Volume 1 by Patrick Carnes - Recovery Zone, Volume One picks up where Facing the Shadow leaves off, guiding readers to begin working tasks eight through thirteen of Dr. Patrick Carnes' innovative thirty-task model. This book helps readers understand that true recovery is achieved by learning to cope with difficult situations and emotions.
  • Recovery Zone Volume 2 by Patrick Carnes - World renowned addiction expert, Dr. Patrick Carnes, releases his second volume of The Recovery Zone series, an innovative and practical guide focused on tasks and resiliency skills to restore happiness, harmony, and lifestyle balance for those recovering from all types of addictions. Recovery Zone Volume 2 provides real answers about how to stay in the zone when traumatic events, toxic stress, and easy access to escape surrounds you. The goal must be an “Ultimate to do List” so you do not miss out on the life you want and feel a genuine call to do.
  • Out of the Doghouse by Rob Weiss - Men and women are very different when it comes to relationships, and this difference is amplified when a man cheats. While men are able to compartmentalize things like casual sex, women typically view any form of cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think: "If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything." For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. Without proper guidance, men--who are often unaware of the type and degree of pain they have caused their spouse--have little chance of restoring it. Underneath the hurt and betrayal, usually there is still love. Where there is love and motivation for change, there is hope for the relationship to move forward. Robert Weiss, a nationally acclaimed expert in the treatment of sex, infidelity, and intimacy issues, has spent over 25 years helping couples find peace and healing. In "Out of the Doghouse" he shares his expertise, illuminating the concrete steps men can take to rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and save their primary relationship. He also gives direction to women on how to know when it is okay to move beyond fear, suspicion, and remorse to a place of hope and relationship renewal.
  • Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss PhD LCSW - Sex Addiction 101 covers everything from what sexual addiction is and how it can best be treated, to how it affects various subgroups of the population such as women, gays, and teenagers. The book also provides sex addicts with strategies to protect themselves from the online sexual onslaught. Sex Addiction 101 is intended to enlighten the clinical population as well as actual sex addicts and their loved ones. 
  • Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William M. Struthers - In this book neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied beings, viewing pornography changes how the brain works, how we form memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships. Struthers exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies. With insights for both married and single men alike, this book offers hope for freedom from pornography.
  • Stop Sex Addiction: Real Hope, True Freedom for Sex Addicts and Partners by Milton S Magness - Compulsive sexual behavior is often difficult to face. Sex addiction results in countless negative consequences and hurts many people. Relationships, marriages, families, and careers are destroyed. Anyone afflicted with sex addiction, as well as the people who love them, can find help within this book.
  • Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal by Carol Juergensen Sheets and Allan J. Katz - Carol Juergenen Sheets and Allan J. Katz have created a workbook/roadmap for rebuilding relationships damaged by sexual addiction and other forms of infidelity. With a focus on empathy – understanding what the betrayed partner is feeling; the exercises in this guidebook will help sex addicts rebuild lost trust and intimacy. This is a recipe for healing a broken relationship.
  • Help.Them.Heal Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship- By Carol Juergensen Sheets - An empathy workbook and wonderful companion to Carol's best-selling Help. Her. Heal. This workbook is for couples to help them heal their relationship following sexual betrayal.
  • Sex Addiction; Wisdom From the Masters by Carol Juergensen Sheets - This book shares the wisdom from the most prolific sexual addiction experts in the world talking about sexual addiction, shame, trauma, trauma reenactment, partner betrayal, partner pain, love addiction, and other issues that contribute to compulsive sexual acting out.
  • How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair by Linda MacDonald - How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance. Learn what Successful Rebuilders know:* How to avoid the potholes that doom marriages after affairs* Critical guidelines for the first hours after discovery * 15 essential steps for repair after betrayal* Skills to cope with your partner's obsessions and "triggers"* Ways to undo the damage from your lies * The keys to avoid prolonging your spouse's agony (and yours)* The difference between helpful and harmful apologies*
  • Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child by Laura Davis - Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners—girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers—trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. 
  • Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred by Patrick J Carnes Ph.D - A first-time examination of sexual anorexia, an extreme fear of sexual intimacy and obsessive avoidance of sex, by the acknowledged leader in the treatment of compulsive sexual behavior and recovery. Author Dr. Patrick Carnes begins by defining sexual anorexia and demonstrating how it and its parallel disorder, sexual addiction and compulsivity, often arise from a background of childhood sexual trauma, neglect, and other forms of abuse. Carnes explores the numerous dimensions of sexual health, examining key issues which must be addressed and resolved for recovery to proceed.
  • “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression” by Terry Real - Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. Don't call it love; Recovery from Sexual Addiction- Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
  • "A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts” - By Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D, Mary E. Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, Culle L. Vande Garde, LCSW, Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D - A groundbreaking book detailing the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent and offering a path to unburden their shameful legacy and embrace sexuality and intimacy without the intrusion or constraints from the past.
  • A Gentle Path through the Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide for All People in the Process of Recovery by Patrick J Carnes Ph.D - It was out of his reverence and respect for the wisdom and therapeutic value of the Twelve Steps that Carnes wrote A Gentle Path through the Twelve Steps, now a recovery classic and self-help staple for anyone looking for guidance for life's hardest challenges.
  • Hope And Recovery The Workbook by Anonymous - This workbook guides readers through the life-transforming move from self-defeating and destructive sexual behavior to healthy, affirming, sexuality. A remarkable work, Hope and Recovery guides and supports the life-transforming move from self-defeating and destructive sexual behavior to healthy, affirming sexuality. This widely acclaimed contribution to addiction literature applies the Twelve Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous to the complex problem of sex addiction.
  • Always Turned On: Sex Addiction in the Digital Age by Robert Weiss, Jennifer P. Schneider. - Today, all forms of sex addiction are technology driven—from porn websites to webcams to casual sex hook-up apps found on smartphones. Sex addicts organize their lives around the pursuit of sexual activity with self or others, spending inordinate amounts of time viewing and masturbating to porn or planning, pursuing, and engaging in sex acts. At the same time, they neglect important relationships, work, and personal responsibilities. Overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse invade when the acting out ends. While it's complicated, recovery is possible. Always Turned On shows readers how to turn those temptations off while providing practical long-term solutions for recovery.
  • The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography by Wendy Maltz , Larry Maltz. - In this highly acclaimed recovery guide, renowned sex and relationship therapists Wendy and Larry Maltz shed new light on the compelling nature and destructive power of today’s instantly available pornography. Weaving together poignant real-life stories with innovative exercises, checklists, and expert advice, this groundbreaking resource provides a comprehensive program for understanding and healing porn addiction and other serious consequences of porn use. 
  • Stop Sex Addiction: Real Hope, True Freedom for Sex Addicts and Partners by Milton S Magness - Compulsive sexual behavior is often difficult to face. Sex addiction results in countless negative consequences and hurts many people. Relationships, marriages, families, and careers are destroyed. Anyone afflicted with sex addiction, as well as the people who love them, can find help within this book.
  • In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior by Patrick J Carnes Ph.D - Compulsive online sexual behavior is a real and growing problem. Yet the situation is not without hope. For those who are seeing signs of significant online problems in themselves or a loved one, this updated second edition of In the Shadows of the Net provides answers, understanding, and tools for recovery. With the latest statistics, discussion of recent technologies and devices, and new thinking on developing a healthy relationship with the Internet and avoiding relapse, this book offers authoritative, professional advice for achieving lasting, healthy change and healing.
  • How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self  by Nicole LePera - In How to Do the Work, she offers both a manifesto for Self Healing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell. In How to Do the Work, Dr. LePera offers readers the support and tools that will allow them to break free from destructive behaviors to reclaim and recreate their lives. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, this is a celebration of empowerment that will forever change the way we approach mental wellness and self-care.
  • Post-Romantic Stress Disorder: What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over by John Bradshaw - In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love. Based on his research, PRSD is a deeply serious psychological disorder and the cause of 40% of all divorces –divorces that could have been prevented. Every day people throw away perfectly good relationships because they just don't know how to navigate the tides, but if they could learn and understand the concepts Bradshaw presents in this book, the portrait of the family unit could have a whole new landscape.
  • Gifts of Recovery - Daily Meditations for Men and Women in Recovery from Sex Addiction by Timothy D Stein LMFT, CSAT-S, CCPS - Daily readings for individuals in recovery from sex & porn addiction. These meditations provide 12-Step insights, sobriety tools and tips, lessons for successful recovery, and partner sensitivity. They combine the clinical guidance of a seasoned therapist with the wisdom received by walking a recovery path.
  • Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age by Robert Weiss, Jennifer P. Schneider - With personal stories from addicts and their significant others, this updated essential resource offers realistic healing strategies for anyone experiencing the devastating impact of Internet pornography and sex addiction on intimacy, relationships, career, health, and self-respect.
  • Intimacy Anorexia by Doug Weiss - Feeling lonely, disconnected, or unloved in your marriage because your partner has stopped being intimate with you? Has your dream of a sacred union turned out to be married and alone? Intimacy Anorexia, the active withholding of emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy, maybe the underlying pattern in your marriage. However, you can have hope again. Once Intimacy Anorexia is identified, it can be treated.
  • Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction by Dr. Eddie Capparucci - If you have been battling a sex/porn addiction, you understand how frustrating it can be to fail time and time again. This book provides a new and proven treatment method that will empower you to take control and finally manage your addiction. The key is understanding the road to recovery from a sex/porn addiction goes through your childhood. Why? Because it’s your inner child who is running the show.
  • Paid For: My Journey Through Prostitution by Rachel Moran - An astonishingly brave memoir of prostitution and its lingering influence on a woman’s psyche and life. Born into a troubled family, Rachel Moran left home at the age of fourteen. Being homeless, she was driven into prostitution to survive. With intelligence and empathy, she describes the exploitation she and others endured on the streets and in the brothels. Moran also speaks to the psychological damage inherent to prostitution and the inevitable estrangement from one’s body. At twenty-two, Moran escaped the sex trade. She has since become a writer and an abolitionist activist.
  • Wack: Addicted to Internet Porn by Noah B.E. Church - Which would surprise you more: that nearly nine out of ten young college men use porn or that more than one in five 12-year-old girls do? Porn has broken out of seedy backrooms and into the mainstream largely thanks to the Internet, which allows millions to access an unlimited (and mostly free) supply of porn and cybersex from the convenience of their own homes. And that's what we do. Because porn is fun. Like...really, really fun! In fact, Internet porn is unnaturally fun, providing far more stimulating variety than we would ever encounter in real life. These sights trigger powerful neurological reactions, and over time consistent porn users undergo actual brain changes similar to those seen in alcoholics and gambling addicts, eventually developing one or more of many common and unpleasant symptoms such as: • Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) and reduced libido for real partners • Difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner • Cravings for and emotional reliance on porn • Escalation to extreme sexual preferences or fetishes as tolerance increases and regular sex becomes boring • Emotional numbness and difficulty forming relationships • Social anxiety, depression, apathy, and "brainfog" • Sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder This book is not a moral or religious attack on pornography. This book is a scientific exploration of how Internet porn affects us, an examination of how it has influenced our culture, and a guide for those who would like to quit the porn habit and heal themselves of porn-induced symptoms. This is the story of people who have acted to retake control of their lives and restore themselves to full sexual and emotional function. This is my story. This may be your story. -Noah B.E. Church 
  • Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction by Gary Wilson - In Your Brain on Porn Gary Wilson draws on both first-person accounts and research findings. In a voice that is generous and humane, he offers advice for those who want to stop using internet pornography. The publication of Your Brain on Porn is a landmark in our attempts to understand, and remain balanced in, a world where addiction is big business. 
  • Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer - Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing is a groundbreaking resource that explores the "why" behind self-destructive sexual choices. The audiobook is based on research from more than 3,800 men and women seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior, be that the use of pornography, an affair, or buying sex.  
  • Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) by Alexandra Katehakis - Neuroaffective science—studying the integrated development of the body, brain, and mind—has revealed mechanisms linking psychological and biological factors of mental disorders, including addiction. Indeed, its paradigm-shifting theoretical umbrella demonstrated that substance and behavioral dependencies share identical neurobiological workings, and thus that problematic repetitive behaviors are genuine addictions—a state increasingly understood as a chronic brain disorder. Clinical experience strongly suggests that sex addiction (SA) treatment informed by affective neuroscience—the specialty of Alexandra Katehakis—proves profoundly transformative.
  • Facing Internet Technology and Gaming Addiction: A Gentle Path to Beginning Recovery from Internet and Video Game Addiction by by Dr. Hillary Cash, Cosette Rae, MSW, and Dr. Patrick Carnes - International technology addiction experts, Cash, Rae, and Carnes collaborate in a cutting-edge workbook designed for individuals with problematic technology use such as gaming addiction, compulsive internet, and social media use. Some of the country’s leading experts in technology addiction have adapted the groundbreaking "Thirty Task Model" used by thousands of therapists worldwide to treat technology and internet addiction. Using innovative tasks and exercises, the reader can engage in a plan designed to defeat addiction and restore lifestyle balance. This book is designed to be used as an adjunct to therapy, and works well with the twelve step programs, or other programs such as SMART recovery.
  • Awakening from the Sexually Addicted Mind: A Compassionate Guide to Recovery by Darrin Ford - Part memoir, part recovery guide, Darrin Ford weaves his professional experience as a therapist of 19 years with personal lessons gained as an addict in recovery. The result of his work is an intimate look at an addict’s journey from impulsivity to mindfulness. By sharing his personal experiences, Darrin hopes other addicts will find inspiration for their own journey.
  • Passport to Shame: From Asian Immigrant to American Addict by Sam Louie - In this bold, insightful book, he documents the challenges of immigrant experiences and how maladaptive coping mechanisms in the form of compulsive behaviors were a means to gain a sense of adequacy due to the cultural tide of shame and ostracism within his own ethnic heritage and the external world. Louie's journey of resiliency in navigating multiple cultural forces in the face of adversity and racism can give readers a new understanding of hope, perseverance, and the resources necessary to heal.
  • Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovey: A Workbook for Adding Meaningful Value and Purpose to Sobriety by Allan J. Katz - Designed for use with clients recovering from sex addiction, this book guides readers through discovering the essential skills for their sober journey and find meaning and purpose in life through character development and emotional maturity, while improving their relationship with healthy intimacy. This workbook answers the question, “I’m sober, now what?”. It contains concise exercises and take the readers on a journey that will give them an insight into what is holding them back from a life worth living, finally living in serenity, learning the art of surrender, and finding true hope and freedom in recovery. With alternating chapters presenting problems and solutions, this workbook is designed to lead the reader through the stages of recovery while gaining skills in mindfulness, emotional regulation, and impulse control.
  • Sex Under the Influence: Understanding and Healing from Sexualized Drug Use by David Fawcett PhD  - When sex and drugs are combined repeatedly and compulsively, there is a high risk of developing what Dr. David Fawcett calls sexualized drug use. This condition is also referred to as paired substance/sex addiction. This book is intended to be a guide for individuals curious about their own sexualized drug use or the sexualized drug use of someone they care about, and for professionals seeking more clinical information. The information contained herein provides insight, guidance, and relief to people struggling to break free from sexualized drug use, steering them toward affirming and satisfying sex and intimacy without the need for mood-altering substances and behaviors.
  • Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction by Eddie Capparucci - If you have been battling a sex/porn addiction you understand how frustrating it can be to fail time and time again. This book provides a new and proven treatment method that will empower you to take control and finally manage your addiction. The key is understanding the road to recovery from a sex/porn addiction goes through your childhood. Why? Because it’s your inner child who is running the show. The Inner Child Recovery Process has proven successful with a large majority of clients in my counseling practice. It has changed the lives of many individuals who felt helpless and hopeless due to their addiction. And it can do the same for you. Endorsed by many leaders in the sex/porn addiction field, the Inner Child Recovery Process is a game changer and can be the solution you have been seeking when it comes to breaking free from your sex and porn addictions.
  • SEX AND LOVE ADDICTION:
    • Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way you Love by Pia Mellody - Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.
    • The White Book-Sexaholics Anonymous - The book Sexaholics Anonymous is the basic text for the Twelve-Step fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). SA members call it the White Book due to its plain white cover. It offers a solution to the problems of lust, sex, and pornography addiction.
    • The Green Book-Sex Addicts Anonymous - Members of SAA affectionately refer to the book "Sex Addicts Anonymous" as the "Green Book". The Green Book is the basic text of the fellowship of Sex Addicts Anonymous. It has helped large numbers of sex addicts, young and old, recover. The first hundred pages of Sex Addicts Anonymous describe the 12 Step programme of recovery, and the remainder of the book contains personal stories of recovery from sexual addiction.
    • Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous - The basic text describing how this Twelve Step fellowship interprets AA's program to give support to recovering sex addicts. Includes many personal stories.
    • Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody - Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship.
    • Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies" by Dr. Michael J. Bader - Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences.
    • Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants by Susan Peabody - This Recovery Workbook is meant to introduce people to the wonder of journaling, creating an inventory, and setting goals. While writing, things occur to us that may not have otherwise seeped up from our unconscious. Writing also reinforces what we have learned and acts as a bench mark affirming our progress. 
    • Is it Love or Is It Addiction: The book that changed the way we think about romance and intimacy by Brenda Schaeffer D.Min M.A.L.P. C.A.S. - Many of us confuse longing and obsession with true love. Through two previous editions, Is It Love or Is It Addiction? has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusion of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. As the author reveals, we can begin to work through relationship difficulties with compassion and lasting effect by increasing our awareness of the ways that we express love.In this expanded third edition, Brenda Schaeffer draws on years of feedback and new developments to foster an understanding of love addiction: what it is and what it is not, how to identify it, and, even more important, how to break free of it. Stories of real people struggling to develop sound relationships illustrate the characteristics of healthy love and help readers to free themselves to find real intimacy. Included is the most up-to-date information about the biological basis of addictive behaviors and the impact of technology on intimate relationships. The author also explores the influence of past abuse and trauma on the predisposition to love addiction.
      WOMEN, SEX, AND ADDICTION:

    • Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power by Charlotte S. Kasl - In our society, sex can easily become the price many women pay for love and the illusion of security. A woman who seeks a sense of personal power and an escape from pain may use sex and romance as a way to feel in control, just as an alcoholic uses alcohol; but sex never satisfies her longing for love and self-worth. In this wise and compassionate book, Charlotte Kasl shows women how they can learn to experience their sexuality as a source for love and positive power and sex as an expression that honors the soul as well as the body.
    • No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction - by Marnie C. Ferree -  In this book Marnie C. Ferree offers a unique resource for women struggling with sexual addiction. Taking her book's title from the parable where Jesus extends grace to the woman caught in adultery, Ferree bravely shares her own story of sexual addiction, recalling her years of shame from living a double life and the moment when she ultimately had to tell the truth. But more than just offering her story as a hopeful example of God's transforming power, Ferree distills her clinical expertise on female sexual addiction accessibly and gently, providing a much-needed resource for women struggling with any degree of relational or sexual addiction. 
    • Naked in Public: A Memoir of Recovery from Sex Addiction and Other Temporary Insanities by Staci Sprout - In this intensely personal account, Staci Sprout traces her journey from the painful world of sexual intrigue and addiction into a life of healing and purpose. She was an honors student and cheerleader, and later a gifted young social worker. But her life had a dark twist that even her closest friends didn’t suspect. Childhood sexual abuse and exposure to pornography had ignited a drive to be sexual that eventually threatened to unravel her sanity and her life. Desperate for relief, she tried psychotherapy, hypnotism, bodywork, and traditional and pagan spirituality. Nothing helped until a near-death experience became a turning point and she found her way into the rooms of 12-Step recovery for sex addiction. With sensitivity and compelling detail, Sprout writes as a compassionate insider about a world most have never seen: intimate gatherings of men and a few women determined to heal from the sickness that was ruining their lives. Eventually free of compulsive sexual behavior, Sprout concentrates on making things right with those she’s harmed, and on discovering what healthy romance and sexuality might look like. What she eventually finds is beyond her wildest dreams. This book is for all those who wonder if their story will ever have a happy ending.
    • Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey through Sex and Porn Addiction - A courageous account of one woman’s unflinching and ultimately hopeful journey through sex and porn addiction. A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame – these are not things we often hear women share publicly, and not with the candor, eloquence and introspection Erica Garza brings to Getting Off.
    • Dryland: One Woman's Swim to Sobriety by Nancy Stearns Bercaw - In this honest, intimate memoir, Nancy reflects on her years wandering the globe, where tragic events and a lost sense of self escalate her dependence on booze. Thirty-three years after her first sip of alcohol, the swimmer comes to a stunning realization while living with her husband and son in Abu Dhabi—she’s drowning in the desert. Nancy looks to the Bedouin people for the strength to conquer one final opponent: alcohol addiction.
  • LGBTQ+ BOOKS:
    • Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men by Rob Weiss - Finally, there is a resource that can help gay men determine if they are indeed a sex addict and whether or not they are willing to explore behavior change because of their sexual behavior.
    • "Lust, Men and Meth: A Gay Man's Guide to Sex and Recovery” by David Fawcett PhD, LCSW -  Lust, Men, and Meth: A Gay Man's Guide to Sex and Recovery provides insight for gay men struggling with the issues of sex and recovery, and for the professionals who work with them. The reader is equipped not only with essential information on the problems of drugs and sexuality, but also with solutions in the form of tools and resources that will support him along his path.
    • Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance by Richard Isay - The importance of living authentically—accepting one’s homosexuality and embracing a positive gay identity—is at the heart of Dr. Richard Isay’s powerful work on the psychological development of gay men. In the candid language of personal case histories, including his own, Isay shows how disguising one’s sexual identity can induce anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. He looks at the dilemma of gay men who are closeting in heterosexual marriages as well as at the specific concerns of adolescents, older men, and those confronted with HIV or AIDS. Isay exposes the tenacity with which psychoanalysis has clung to outdated views of homosexuality. 
    • 10 Smart Things Gay Men can do to Improve Their Lives by Joe Kort - Would the small gay boy you once were look up to the gay man you’ve become?This is the question Dr. Joe Kort explores in 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives (completely revised and updated edition) as he guides readers through the complex journey of becoming a fully self-actualized gay man. Learn the five biggest mistakes gay men make when seeking a relationship. 
    • Queer Blues: The Lesbian and Gay Guide to Overcoming Depression by Kimeron N. Hardin - Queer Blues is the only guide to focus on the triggers of depression specific to the gay and lesbian community and to offer concrete strategies to overcome them. The authors explain the many forms of depression and explore its unique impact on lesbians and gay men. If you're a lesbian or a gay man struggling with depression, this book offers you real tools for real change. 
    • The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs - The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.
    • Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things go Wrong by Lauren D. Costine - Lauren D. Costine offers insight for lesbians, bisexual women in relationships with women, queer women, and more specifically, any woman who loves women, as well as their family and friends, and health care professionals, into the psychology of lesbian love addiction. It will give those who struggle with and suffer from love addiction ways to understand, cope, and heal from this debilitating addiction.

      ENMESHMENT:
    • When He's Married to Mom: How to help Mother-Enmeshed open their hearts to True Love and Commitment by Dr. Ken Adams - A practical, compassionate relationship guide for women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, mothers who wish to set their sons free, and men dealing with issues of commitment, sex addiction, and unhealthy attachments. Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including:—Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men—Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage—Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children.
    • Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest- by Kenneth M. Adams - Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close,' especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.
  • READING FOR COUPLES
    • Courageous Love: A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal by Stefanie Carnes - Leading marriage expert Dr. Stefanie Carnes explains her time-tested strategy to help couples conquer fear and restore their trust, intimacy and connection following a betrayal. There is nothing that can rupture the loving connection between a couple like betrayal. Courageous Love provides a step-by-step guide for repairing your relationship, whether it is damaged by infidelity, pornography, or compulsive and addictive sexual behavior. Dr. Carnes teaches couples how to respond to one another with compassion and empathy and how to hold onto hope for their relationship.
    • Open Hearts - Renewing Relationships with Recovery, Romance & Reality by Patrick Carnes - Open Hearts is a book a couple reads together. It takes techniques that Carnes and the Laasers developed in their psychotherapy practices and weaves them into a series of individual and joint exercises. It looks at tough issues: shame, anger, money, betrayal, sex, parenting. It encourages fun: drawing up a family motto, expressing spirituality together, taking gentleness breaks.
    • Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel -  Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS). Should I Stay or Go? explains CS and shows how it can be used as a tool to help couples make the best decision for both partners.
    • The Couple's Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal by Dr. Bill Bercaw CSAT CST, Dr. Ginger Bercaw CSAT CST -  "How can we have a healthy sex life after sex addiction?" We have answered this question by developing Sexual Reintegration Therapy(SRT). If you have a vision for a better relationship, SRT gives you the plan. Even if you cannot see clearly how your wounded relationship can be healed, SRT will offer you that hope. SRT consists of a progressive series of clearly defined experiences (that we have been using successfully with our clients for years) that will help you address core intimacy issues that need upgrading.
    • Sex, God, & the Chaos of Betrayal: The Couples' Road Map of Hope & Healing - Recovery from Infidelity, Affairs, Pornography & Sexual Addiction by Roane Hunter, Eva Hunter. - Every person today knows someone who has been impacted by the devastating effects of sexual brokenness in one of its various manifestations - porn addiction, affairs, sexual compulsivity and sex addiction. The individuals and couples who have been affected by sexual brokenness in the form of sexual betrayal universally report that it is one of the most emotionally gut-wrenching experiences anyone can endure. They will often describe it as feeling “worse than death,” and many say they would rather die. Roane and Eva Hunter offer a raw and transparent account of the difficult path they have traveled together in dealing with sexual addiction. The result is their ability to offer a comprehensive road map for recovery. 
    • Help.Them.Heal Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship- By Carol Juergensen Sheets - An empathy workbook and wonderful companion to Carol's best-selling Help. Her. Heal. This workbook is for couples to help them heal their relationship following sexual betrayal.
    • Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirschenbaum - There are many books that promise to help you fix a bad relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try—or if you need to go.  Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems: • What sins are forgivable and which ones are unpardonable? • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself? • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it? • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable? Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.
    •  Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity by Mark Chamberlain - Love You, Hate the Porn shows couples how to identify and address vulnerabilities in their relationship. Offers healing advice for spouses. Provides help for the struggling partner to avoid relapse. Focuses on how to make the marriage relationship stronger than it was before.
    • Conscious Uncoupling: 5 steps to living happily even after by Katherine Woodward Thomas -  Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Calling in "The One" and creator of the groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps: Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist Step 5: Create Your Happy Even After Life . 
    • From the Living Room to the Bedroom: The Modern Couples Guide to Sexual Abundance and Lasting Intimacy by Dr. Bill and Ginger Bercaw, PsyD, CST, CSAT. - The exercises we’ve chosen for this book focus squarely on improving your Living Room (emotional intimacy) and Bedroom (sexual intimacy) connection. The resulting positive feedback loop between the two rooms of your relationship is what we call CoupleFlow™, which is a stronger, brighter, more resilient and more passionate partnership that is more than capable of facing the many challenges posed by our crazy-busy, tech-bombarded, running in a million different directions culture.
    • Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction by Dr. Alexandra Katehakis PhD MFT CSAT-S CST-S - In the journey to sexual sobriety, many recovering sex addicts find themselves wondering, "Will I ever have an exciting and fulfilling romantic relationship?" or "Can I repair my marriage now that I've confessed my destructive behavior?" and "Will I ever have great sex again?" The answers to all three questions are, "Yes, yes, and yes." With exercises, practical tips, and true stories of both singles and couples who have been successful on their path, Erotic Intelligence is a must-read for those in recovery and those who love them.
    • Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families by Susan M. Johnson - "Drawing on cutting-edge research on adult attachment--and providing an innovative roadmap for clinical practice - Susan M. Johnson argues that psychotherapy is most effective when it focuses on the healing power of emotional connection. The primary developer of emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for couples, Johnson now extends her attachment-based approach to individuals and families. The volume shows how EFT aligns perfectly with attachment theory as it provides proven techniques for treating anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. Each modality (individual, couple, and family therapy) is covered in paired chapters that respectively introduce key concepts and present an in-depth case example. Special features include instructive end-of-chapter exercises and reflection questions."
    • Building True Intimacy: Creating a connection that stands the test of time by Dan Drake, Joanna Raabsmith, and Matthew Raabsmith - All of us want relationships that are satisfying and healthy. Yet there are few things more difficult than building a successful relationship that weathers life's storms. Building True Intimacy was written for the couple or individual wanting more from their relationship, yet who is needing a clear path to get there. This book introduces a model for how any couple can build a connection that stands the test of time: The Intimacy Pyramid. Starting with a foundation of honesty, we'll explore how you can build safety and trust in your relationship, allowing for more vulnerability, which ultimately will lead to a deep intimacy you may have never thought possible. Building on professional and personal experiences, we'll help you understand the levels of the pyramid and how to implement them into your relationship. We believe this book will both inspire you to go from surviving to thriving in your relationship, and we’ll give you tools to help you get there.
    • Coupleship Inc: From Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy by Debra Kaplan and Rick Kahler - A romantic relationship is one of the most important emotional decisions we make in our lifetime. It is also one of the most important financial decision of our lives. When partners commit, they merge their individual and often complicated relationship with money that also creates a financial partnership, which we call Coupleship Inc. The authors combine their expertise in couples therapy and financial planning to provide insights, tools and practical steps for couples to successfully resolve money conflicts and create emotional and financial wellbeing.
    • Battle of the Titans: Mastering the Forces of Sex, Money, and Power in Relationships by Debra Kaplan - Battle of the Titans: Mastering the Forces of Sex, Money, and Power in Relationships is a compelling and constructive dive into modern-day power dynamics. Framed in Greek mythology, personal narrative and therapeutic intervention, author and therapist, Debra Kaplan provides essential tools and insights to: Successfully harness authentic power, Identify exploitation and engage healthy boundaries, Clarify the underlying attachment styles in relationships that contribute to over-valuation and under-valuation of self, Create healthy sexual and financial boundaries in relations.
    • For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual & Financial Betrayal in Relationships by Debra Kaplan - or Love and Money, delivers an unparalleled and cutting-edge perspective about sexual, financial and relational exploitation from Wall Street to Main Street; boardroom to bedroom. This exploration merges academic investigation, therapeutic narrative and case study. It is a ground breaking must read for those individuals interested in restoring sexual and financial health to your life and your loves.
    • Altogether Us: Integrating the IFS Model with Key Modalities, Communities, and Trends by Jenna Riemersma and Richard Schwartz - Altogether Us opens with IFS founder Richard Schwartz sharing the origin story of the model and describing its remarkable growth. Jenna then presents a never-before published IFS shorthand tool. Each of the following chapters explore the integration of the IFS model with a remarkably comprehensive array of topics including: EMDR, Psychedelic-Assisted Psychotherapy, Somatic Practices, Groups, Polyvagal Theory, Play Therapy, Sandtray, Psychodrama, Addictive Processes, Disordered Eating, Sexuality, Couples, Parents, Adoption, Ancestral Lineage Healing, and the Enneagram. Intersectionality chapters speak to the use of IFS in providing culturally-affirming care to clients with traditionally marginalized identities, including Black, Asian & Pacific Islander, LatinX, Native American, and Neurodivergent clients, as well as clients navigating sexual orientation and gender identity.
    • Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas MA MFT - Conscious Uncoupling is a breakup or divorce that is characterized by goodwill, generosity, and respect. And it's an audiobook for anyone who has ever experienced a bad breakup of any kind - with a girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, boss, employee, husband, or wife - and who wants to try another way. It's well past time we became more grown up and less damaging in how we dissolve relationships. Conscious Uncoupling is a tried-and-true, step-by-step process for completing the old relationship while holding out for the possibility of generating a happier and healthier one. Katherine Woodward Thomas teaches listeners how to have difficult conversations with the other person in their relationship, how to clear away any toxic emotional residue left between them, and how to train one's social community to adjust to the new form of the relationship and behave respectfully toward both individuals. Conscious Uncoupling will also provide a cultural perspective on breakups and divorce and will help listeners understand their own experience inside of the larger context of society. And the book will initiate and support this new movement in culture by promoting greater awareness and introducing the critical skills to navigate the end of love in an empowered way. Conscious Uncoupling promises to be a substantial book that will inspire people to begin thinking differently about breakups and divorce in addition to helping them heal their heartbreak.
    • 40 Forms of Intimacy: Integrating Daily Connection Into Your Couple Relationship by Alex A. Avila - Relationships are complex. Sometimes couples don’t know what went wrong or how to begin fixing it. And people’s perceptions about the quality of their romantic relationships strongly affect many other areas of their lives. So, the most important relationship is always worth investing in. Intimacy is more than sexual engagement. This intimacy guidebook helps couples:
      -Expand their awareness of couple intimacy-Build intimacy fluency as they pay attention to their connection-Experience a deeper sense of closeness in their relationship.
    • Loving with the Brain in Mind: Neurobiology and Couple Therapy by Mona DeKoven Fishbane - Human brains and behavior are shaped by genetic predispositions and early experience. But we are not doomed by our genes or our past. Neuroscientific discoveries of the last decade have provided an optimistic and revolutionary view of adult brain function: People can change. This revelation offers hope to therapists and to couples seeking to improve their relationship. Loving With the Brain in Mind explores ways to help couples become proactive in revitalizing their relationship. It offers an in-depth understanding of the heartbreaking dynamics in unhappy couples and the healthy dynamics of couples who are flourishing.
    • Recovering Couples Anonymous: A Twelve-Step Program for Couples by Patrick Carnes - The Fourth Edition of RCA’s basic Text thoroughly covers all aspects of the RCA program. The 353 pages of RCA’s basic text includes RCA’s fundamental guide to working RCA’s twelve steps.
    • From Object to Icon: The Struggle for Spiritual Vision in a Pornographic World by Andrew Williams - Since the advent of the internet, it has become increasingly obvious that our society suffers from a pornography problem-and Orthodox Christians are no exception. While many practical resources are available to help those who struggle with pornography use, these fail to address the problem at its deeper, spiritual root. From Object to Icon offers a solution by showing all of us how to change the way we see-how to see iconographically rather than pornographically. Whether or not we struggle with pornography use, this book shows us how to stop objectifying others and instead see the spiritual reality in everyone we encounter.

Additional Readings To Explore

Books For Parents


  • The New Age of Sex Education: How to Talk to Your Teen About Cybersex and Pornography in the Digital Age by Jennifer Weeks - In Dr. Jennifer Week’s first prevention book, parents will learn how their teens are interacting online and how exposure to online sexuality can affect them. Parents will also learn how their own issues with sex and sexuality influence how they either do or do not talk to their children about sex. Finally, this book provides parents with practical tips on how to talk to their children about digital sexuality as well as how to ascertain if their child has a problem with pornography or other online sexual behaviors.
  • Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel MD - In Brainstorm, Siegel illuminates how brain development impacts teenagers’ behavior and relationships. Drawing on important new research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology, he explores exciting ways in which understanding how the teenage brain functions can help parents make what is in fact an incredibly positive period of growth, change, and experimentation in their children’s lives less lonely and distressing on both sides of the generational divide.
  • The Rest of the Way: Healing Barriers Between Gays, Lesbians, and Their Parents by Enid Duchin Jackowitz - psychotherapist Enid Duchin Jackowitz has included two sets of Questions for Reflection at the end of each chapter. There is one set of questions for parents, and one for gay sons and daughters to help encourage understanding and initiate a dialogue. Sprinkled with compelling stories and insights the book recounts Enid’s journey of self-discovery that led her to unconditional acceptance of her gay son in a most genuine and heartfelt way. The book, both provocative and thought provoking, offers keen observations in the struggle parents often face when coming to terms with having a gay child.
  • Mom, Dad, I’m Gay: How Families Negotiate Coming Out by Ritch Savin-Williams - Drawing from over 150 original interviews with teens, psychologist Ritch Savin-Williams separates fact from fiction in this survey of coming out experiences. Drawing from existing developmental research, he illustrates the wide range of family reactions and discusses the factors that determine how parents come to terms with the disclosure over time. He reveals that the coming out experience is greatly influenced by gender, and chapters highlight common mother-daughter, mother-son, father-daughter, and father-son dynamics.
  • Is It a Choice? Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People by Eric Marcus - he answers to all the questions you've ever had about sexual orientation but were afraid to ask. Eric Marcus provides insightful, no-nonsense answers to hundreds of the most commonly asked questions about same-sex orientation. Offering frank and accepting insight on everything you've always wanted-and needed-to know about same-gender relationships, coming out, family roles, politics, and much more, including: How do you know if you're gay or lesbian? What should you do if your child is gay or lesbian? Do gay parents raise gay children? What does the Bible say about homosexuality?
  • The Sex Education Answer Book: By the Age Responses to Tough Questions Kids Ask Parents About Sex by Cath Hakanson -  The Sex Education Answer Book is the definitive guide to answering your child’s questions: Unsure where to begin? The answer book’s opening section helps you get started, and explains why asking questions is so important while putting to rest any fears or doubts you may have. Includes child-friendly answers to more than 200 commonly asked questions! With content organized by age group, navigation is quick and easy. Learn how to speak to your child about reproduction, sex, bodies, relationships, pregnancy, masturbation, sexual diversity, gender, STIs, and more!
  • Break Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz - Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents is the first and only book to provide a completely parent-based treatment program for child and adolescent anxiety. Parents will learn how to alleviate their children's anxiety by changing the way they themselves respond to their children's symptoms--importantly, parents are not required to impose changes on their children's behavior. Instead, parents are shown how to replace their own accommodating behaviors (which allow anxiety to flourish) with supportive responses that demonstrate both acceptance of children's difficulties and confidence in their ability to cope. 
  • Parents Guide to Teenager Anxiety and Depression by S.L. Clark - In Parents Guide to Teenager Anxiety and Depression, you will discover: 25+ effective strategies to build a positive home and help your teen overcome the struggles of anxiety and depression ; The mind of your teen – dive into their brain and understand what goes on inside to paint a better picture ; The emotional rollercoaster that comes with being a teen – uncover what it is that leads to anxiety and depression; The true role of a parent so you can make sure you are raising your teen the right way; The truth about anxiety and depression in teens – know the symptoms, signs, and causes; A look into the online world – understand what kind of teen your child is in this new, innovative world; The results of anxiety and depression – stop your child from succumbing to substance abuse or suicide before it’s too late. 
  • Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents: How to Help your Child (Of Any Age) With BPD by Randi Kreger - With this comprehensive resource, you will learn all about borderline personality disorder, how it shows up in children, adolescents, and your adult children, how to obtain proper treatment, and how to manage your child’s condition at home. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you communicate and improve your relationship with your child of any age, and, as a result, improve your own life as a parent and an individual. You’ll also find real stories and advice from parents who have also experienced raising a child with BPD.
  • Who's Going to Help me?! Supporting Your Child in a Family Disclosure By Casey M. Allison, APSATS CPC-C -  As a betrayed wife, mother of nine, and now an APSATS Certified Partner Coach, this is the book and information I needed many years ago when I discovered my husband's problematic sexual behavior (PSB). PSB impacts every member of our family, and this book is one tool you can use to build a strong foundation for authentic and open communication with your children after betrayal.
  • No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Tina Payne Bryson PhD and Daniel j. Siegel MD - The pioneering experts behind the bestselling The Whole-Brain Child - Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel J. Siegel, the New York Times bestselling author of Brainstorm - now explore the ultimate child-raising challenge: discipline. Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. 
  • Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Mary Hartzell M.Ed. - In this best-selling classic, child psychiatrist and coauthor of The Whole Brain Child, Daniel J. Siegel and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Illuminating important research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology, Siegel and Hartzell explain how the parent-child relationship directly affects brain development, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories to help them raise compassionate and resilient children.
  • Not What I Expected: Help and Hope for Parents of Atypical Children by Rita Eichenstein - A pediatric neuropsychologist presents strategies to help parents of special needs children navigate the emotional challenges they face. As diagnosis rates continue to rise for autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, and other developmental differences, parents face a maze of medical, psychological, and educational choices—and a great deal of emotional stress. With compassion, clarity, and an emphasis on practical solutions, Dr. Rita Eichenstein walks listeners through the five stages of acceptance and helps listeners understand their own emotional experience, so that they can embrace their child with acceptance, compassion, and joy.
  • For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values and Health by Al Vernacchio - A progressive, effective, and responsible approach to sex education for parents and teens that challenges traditional teaching models and instead embraces 21st century realities by promoting healthy sexuality, values, and body image in young people.
  • Too Hot To Handle: A Global History of Sex Education by Jonathan Zimmerman - Too Hot to Handle is the first truly international history of sex education. As Jonathan Zimmerman shows, the controversial subject began in the West and spread steadily around the world over the past century. As people crossed borders, however, they joined hands to block sex education from most of their classrooms. Examining key players who supported and opposed the sex education movement, Zimmerman takes a close look at one of the most debated and divisive hallmarks of modern schooling.
  • Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein - Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word “hilarious” robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys’ understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today’s world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.
  • Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscap by Peggy Orenstein - A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. Even in this age of helicopter parenting, the mothers and fathers of tomorrow’s women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over seventy young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls’ sex lives in the modern world.
  • Books for Children/Teens:
    • Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids by Kristen A Jenson , Debbie Fox. - Featuring easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this internationally-acclaimed book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains. With Good Pictures Bad Pictures, your child will never be caught off guard by disturbing videos or peer pressure! The 5-point CAN DO Plan™ teaches kids exactly what to do to protect their young minds when they see pornography. For kids 6-12 years old. 
    • Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids/Jr. Version: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds by Kristen A. Jensen, MA and Gail Poyner, PhD - Young children deserve to be armed early against internet dangers. Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. makes it easy for parents to protect their young kids ages 3 to 6. Using gentle, age-appropriate messages, children will learn to Turn, Run & Tell when they are accidentally exposed to inappropriate content.
    • It’s So Amazing: A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies and Families by Robie H. Harris - An outstanding book. . . . Meets the needs of those in-between or curious kids who are not ready, developmentally or emotionally, for It’s Perfectly Normal.” —Booklist (starred review) How does a baby begin? What makes a baby male or female? How is a baby born? Children have plenty of questions about reproduction and babies—and about sex and sexuality, too. It’s So Amazing! provides the answers—with fun, accurate, comic-book-style artwork and a clear, lively text that reflects the interests of children age seven and up in how things work, while giving them a healthy understanding of their bodies.
    • It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris - A cutting-edge resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and AIDS, IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL offers young people the information they need — now more than ever — to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.
    • Daddy’s Secret Cedar Chest by Geoff Goodman, PhD - Children of sex addicts need to know that they are not alone in their suffering, that help is available to them, and that families do get better with treatment. These children need to know that they did not cause their parent's sex addiction, nor can they control or cure it. Through words and pictures, Daddy's Secret Cedar Chest conveys this powerful message for children ages 6 to 12.
    • The Anxiety Toolkit for Teens by Teen Thrive - “THE ANXIETY TOOLKIT FOR TEENS” is one of the most teen-friendly anxiety books you will ever come across that will give you the tools, practices, and strategies to address it head on. This indispensable guide is loaded with useful information that’s easy-to-read, fun, and engaging while providing exactly what it says it will – a toolkit to understand and manage stress, anxiety, worry and panic.
    • When Harley Has Anxiety by Regine Galanti, PhD. - Expert psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Regine Galanti offers an activity book that teaches kids how to be brave and feel less anxious. All children get anxious sometimes. For some kids, though, anxi­ety can become something bigger and more intrusive, stopping them from enjoying friends, family, activities, sports, or school. Through a friendly character, colorful illustrations, and fun activities made specifically for kids ages 5 to 9, they will learn cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies to allow them to work through anxious situations on their own. By practicing these strategies, kids will develop the skills needed to manage their anxiety by changing their worried thoughts, behaviors, and physical reactions.
    • Everyone Feels Anxious Sometimes- A Kids Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dr. Daniela Owen - It’s okay to feel anxious sometimes. But if we let it grow, it can turn into a never-ending tornado of worry and dizzy spells. In this book, kids will learn soothing strategies that help boost calmness. Kids will feel empowered in overcoming worries, stress, and fear so that they can finally ease anxiety and stay focused on the things that bring them joy.
    • A Little SPOT of Emotion 8 Book Box Set ( Books 1-8: Anger, Anxiety, Peaceful, Happiness, Sadness, Confidence, Love, & Scribble Emotion) by Diane Alber - Learning Emotions and Social Skills with SPOTS.

Trauma

  • It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are by Mark Wolynn - Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. 
  • Focusing by Eugene T. Gendlin - Focusing' is a technique first developed 25 years ago by American psychologist and philosopher Eugene Gendlin. Hugely influential, it offers six specific steps you can take to open up your inner world of deeper feelings and intuition - and shows you how to listen to others with more empathy.
  • You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One by Steven Stosny - Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent.
  • Mother Hunger- How Adult Daughters can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel. - Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and it's lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with being under-mothered and misdiagnosed. McDaniel offers a healing path with powerful tools that include therapeutic interventions and lifestyle changes in service to healthy relationships.
  • Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self by Elan Golomb - In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist -- offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters -- share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist.
  • The Object of my Affection is in my Reflection: Coping with narcissists by Rokelle Lerner - In her latest book, relationship expert Rokelle Lerner, tackles the inner workings of narcissism and offers compassionate and realistic advice for surviving a relationship with those afflicted with this personality disorder.
  • Ambushed by Betrayal by Allan J Katz and Michele Saffier CSATS - Infidelity, gaslighting, and deception shatter the most sacred part of a committed relationship, the attachment. The foundation upon which your relationship house is built is demolished in an instant, leaving unsuspecting partners in rubble and twisted wires trying to make sense of what just happened. This is Betrayal Trauma.With the experience and wisdom of twenty-four years working with betrayed partners and utilizing the methods developed, Michele F. Saffier and Allan J. Katz offer you a self-guided process of healing, unlike any other—a heroes’ journey.
  • “Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility by Ramani S. Durvasula Ph.D - It’s time to take our lives back from a world of narcissism, entitlement, and toxic relationships.  “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” has become the mantra of the famous and infamous, the entitled and the insecure. It’s the tagline of the modern narcissist.
  • “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression” by Terry Real - Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. 
  • Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina W Brown EdD LPC - Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, you'll discover that you're not helpless against your parent's behavior and that you needn't consider giving up on the relationship. Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help you fulfill your needs and expectations.
  • The Courage to Heal For Men and Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Laura Davis - The Courage to Heal is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and a map of the healing journey to every woman who was sexually abused as a child—and to those who care about her. Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible
  • The Courage to Heal Workbook For Men and Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Laura Davis - In this groundbreaking companion to The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis offers an inspiring, in-depth workbook that speaks to all women and men healing from the effects of child sexual abuse. The combination of checklists, writing and art Projects, open-ended questions and activities expertly guides the survivor through the healing process.
  •  Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn - Based on Jon Kabat-Zinn’s renowned mindfulness-based stress reduction program, this classic, groundbreaking work—which gave rise to a whole new field in medicine and psychology—shows you how to use medically proven mind-body approaches derived from meditation and yoga to counteract stress, establish greater balance of body and mind, and stimulate well-being and healing.
  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van dec Kolk - Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. 
  • No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz - Is there just one “you”? We’ve been taught to believe we have a single identity, and to feel fear or shame when we can’t control the inner voices that don’t match the ideal of who we think we should be. Yet Dr. Richard Schwartz’s research now challenges this “mono-mind” theory. “All of us are born with many sub-minds—or parts,” says Dr. Schwartz. “These parts are not imaginary or symbolic. They are individuals who exist as an internal family within us—and the key to health and happiness is to honor, understand, and love every part.”
  • Silently-Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners by Dr. Ken Adams - When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy—even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries—usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction—because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child. Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close,' especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.
  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson - If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
  • A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Ken Adams - Adult children who grew up with a parent who had a sexual addiction are left confused, ashamed, and mistrustful regarding the feelings and boundaries surrounding sex, love, and intimacy. Due to the inappropriate sexual behavior of one parent, and the subsequent impact of betrayal on the other parent, these adults carry sexual secrets, have divided loyalties, and are often caught in the middle of their parents’ struggles. Having witnessed (or known of) affairs, walked in on a parent masturbating or viewing pornography, received extreme or shameful messages regarding sexuality or gender, experienced sexualized remarks about their bodies, been neglected as a result of the addiction, or were modeled extreme moral values (either too permissive or shaming), these adult children of sex addicts (ACSAs) struggle with their sexuality and longings for love. ACSAs have not had their stories told in any significant way in the recovery literature. Intergenerational trauma is transmitted through the legacy of carried sexual shame—the burden of which is not theirs. Their shame and struggle has often been wedged under various umbrellas of identification: adult children of alcoholics, love avoidant, codependent, sex addict, love addict, and others. A Light in the Dark offers hope for unburdening ACSAs by sharing the experiences of others, as well as examining the characteristics, roles and recovery that point toward the freedom and joy they rightfully deserve.
  • The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz - Compassionate and enduring, renowned author, psychotherapist, and certified sex therapist Wendy Maltz presents a comprehensive program for healing that sensitively takes readers step-by-step through the recovery process, integrating expert advice with groundbreaking exercises, proven techniques, and first-person accounts of women and men at every stage of sexual healing. This compassionate resource can help you to: Identify the sexual effects of sexual abuse , Eliminate negative sexual behavior and resolve specific problems, Gain control over upsetting automatic reactions to touch and sex, Develop a healthy sexual self-concept. Originally published two decades ago, The Sexual Healing Journey is a highly respected resource for understanding and healing the intimate sexual problems caused by sex abuse.The updated third edition features a new preface, revised materials, and an updated, expanded resource section. 
  • The Conscious Sexual Self Workbook by Melissa Jebian Fritchle - Unlike any other sex education you have had, The Conscious Sexual Self Workbook guides you to look to yourself for answers. Written by an experienced sex therapist and educator, this book gives you accurate holistic information about sex and sexual relationships, but it also provides you with questions and exercises to help you explore your own sexual history, values, and desires. Discover the richness and passion of your own unique and dynamic sexuality. What people are saying …Illuminating, compelling and inspiring…this instilled new hope in me.How refreshing to open to a whole new way of knowing myself.Full of questions I had never contemplated before. This peeled away layers that allowed me to be more intimate and passionate with my partner.I love that I can define what optimal sexuality is for me!Now I have more courage and honor myself and also to be more direct, open and also nonjudgmental in hearing other people’s sexual stories. This is the perspective on sexuality I had been waiting for!
  • The Porn Solution: Relationship Repair After Pornography Betrayal by Dr. Sandra Shachar - In The Porn Solution, Dr. Sandra Shachar illuminates the path forward for couples affected by Betrayal Trauma following the discovery of a partner’s hidden pornography use. With compassion and without judgment, Dr. Shachar addresses both partners using neuroscience research to explain why the discovery of a partner’s sexual secret is traumatic, and the effect of habitual pornography use on the brain and sexual functioning. Most importantly, The Porn Solution gives couples the essential communication tools and rules to help repair and rebuild their relationship to be better than ever!
  • Mastering the Trauma Wound: A Mindful Approach to Healing Trauma and Creating Healthier Relationships by  Candice Christiansen M.Ed. - While the impact of trauma manifests in a variety of ways, Candice has realized the connection between trauma and addiction. The understanding of this important connection is present throughout this workbook. Her list of Mindful-Based Support Tools, easy to follow exercises, and Resiliency Formula provides readers with simple, clearly defined steps for handling moment-to-moment past trauma triggers while staying present in the gift of here and now.
  • Embracing Shame: How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally by Bret Lyon PhD SEP AND Sheila Rubin MA LMFT RDT/BCT - With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore: The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion, How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings, The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body, Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more.
  • Using Boundaries to Find Peace for Every Part of You by Casey M. Allison, APSATS CPC-C - What are boundaries, and do I even need them? How do I know what boundaries to set? What if my significant other doesn't accept my boundaries? This workbook will walk with you through the complicated landscape of boundaries after betrayal addressing the needs of each and every part of you impacted by your significant other's infidelity. This Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed workbook can be used in conjunction with Jenna Riemersma's book, Altogether You, using IFS to craft boundaries that are unique to you, your experiences, and your relationships.
  • Hey! What About Me? by Allan J. Katz, LPC/CSAT - There is a strange relationship between modern day slavery and freedom. On the one hand people want the freedom to do as they please, without restrictions, rules, deadlines, people, society or religion telling them what to do. Yet a society without rules, laws, deadlines and leadership leads to chaos. Freedom to do as we please without considering others, makes everyone and everything else less of a priority. Modern day bondage to technology, people, emotions and work is being compelled to act, somewhat unconsciously, which does not end up serving our own good. It’s as if there were a “master” demanding and compelling us to do something which ultimately is not in our own best interest. Every day, millions of people all over the world, subject themselves to the slavery of work, technology, people and emotions; rushing past their lives in a robotic frenzy, a quest for instant gratification, despite the future consequences of their spouses and partners saying, HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?
  • Addictive Entrepreneurship by Allan J. Katz, LPC/CSAT - The Thirteen Steps to Freedom from Work/Life Issues Addictive Entrepreneurship offers you 13 character strengths needed to overcome workaholic behaviors such as perfectionism, trust, spirituality, risk, adaptability and much more. The wisdom in this book provides you a realistic journey, exploring what it takes mentally, emotionally and spiritually to succeed as an entrepreneur today. It paints life’s business lessons with a broad stroke of humor, courage, persistence, creativity and honesty.
  • Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski PhD - Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish? Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. 
  • The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by Alex Korb PhD. - Depression can feel like a downward spiral, pulling you down into a vortex of sadness, fatigue, and apathy. Based in the latest research in neuroscience, this book offers dozens of little things you can do every day to rewire your brain and create an upward spiral toward a happier, healthier life.
  • IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging by Daniel J. Siegel MD - Both a personal and general meditation on identity and belonging, Daniel J. Siegel’s book combines personal reflections with scientific discussions of how the mind, brain, and our relationships shape who we are. Weaving the internal and external, the subjective and objective, IntraConnected reveals how our culture may give us a message of separation as a solo, isolated self, but a wider perspective unveils that who we are may be something more―broader than the brain, bigger even than the body―and fundamental to social systems and the natural world.
  • Healing Trauma: Attachment, Mind, Body and Brain (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) by Daniel J. Siegel MD - As we move into the third millennium, the field of mental health is in an exciting position to bring together diverse ideas from a range of disciplines that illuminate our understanding of human experience: neurobiology, developmental psychology, traumatology, and systems theory. The contributors emphasize the ways in which the social environment, including relationships of childhood, adulthood, and the treatment milieu change aspects of the structure of the brain and ultimately alter the mind.
  • The Developing Mind, Third Edition: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are by Daniel J. Siegel M.D.  - Daniel J. Siegel synthesizes cutting-edge research from multiple disciplines, revealing the ways in which neural processes are fundamentally shaped by interpersonal relationships throughout life. And even when early experiences are not optimal, building deeper connections to other people and to one's own internal experience remains a powerful resource for growth. Professors praise the book’s utility in courses from developmental psychology and child development to neuroscience and counseling.
  • The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man (Flying Boy Series 1-3 Book 1)This book talks about grieving, a very misunderstood process often confused with self-pity. Self-pity often leads to, or perpetuates, self-destruction in a variety of forms and is substantially different from grieving. Grieving is your right and is a grounding, cleansing and finally healing experience.
    There is hope for Flying Boys/Wounded Men and for women who love them. Like myself, many men are healing themselves right now and thus allowing the Flying Boy’s positive side to fully emerge. This book will further the healing process by helping the Flying Boy land, love and then gently labor to create peace and joy within himself, his family, society and the world. It will also open doors to understanding, compassion and empathy for women who love wounded men.
  • Under Saturn's Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men by James Hollis - Saturn was the infamous Roman god who ate his children in an attempt to stop them from usurping his power. Men throughout history have been psychologically and spiritually burdened by the Saturnian legacy, suffering from the corruption of empowerment, driven by their fear of women and other men, and wounding themselves and others. These and many other issues are addressed, suggesting concrete ways in which men may reclaim their sense of personal integrity.
  • Finding Our Fathers : How a Man's Life Is Shaped by His Relationship with His Father by Samuel Osherson  - A seminal classic, Finding Our Fathers examines the hidden struggle faced by millions of men: how to reconcile their childhood images of their fathers--and of all men--as silent, stoic breadwinners with the life they want to live now--embracing two-career marriages, closer ties with their children, and greater emotional awareness.
  • Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity by Frank Pittman - In Man Enough, psychiatrist and family therapist Frank Pittman explores what it is like to grow up male today. With great poignancy, humor, and candor, he weaves together case studies from his practice, examples from literature and films, plus personal vignettes from his own experiences as a father to examine these hyper-masculine men and to illustrate how they developed and how they can change. Dr. Pittman asserts that men can move past proving their masculinity and start practicing it by striving with the other guys rather than against them, achieving equality and intimacy with their mates--and by fathering. A man raises himself as he raises children and learns to understand and forgive his parents as he becomes one.
  • The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) by by Onno van der Hart Ph.D., Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis Ph.D., Kathy Steele - In this book, three leading researchers and clinicians share what they have learned from treating and studying chronically traumatized individuals across more than 65 years of collective experience. Based on the theory of structural dissociation of the personality in combination with a Janetian psychology of action, the authors have developed a model of phase-oriented treatment that focuses on the identification and treatment of structural dissociation and related maladaptive mental and behavioral actions. The foundation of this approach is to support patients in learning more effective mental and behavioral actions that will enable them to become more adaptive in life and to resolve their structural dissociation. This principle implies an overall therapeutic goal of raising the integrative capacity, in order to cope with the demands of daily life and deal with the haunting remnants of the past, with the “unfinished business” of traumatic memories.
  • Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers - Are you afraid of making decisions . . . asking your boss for a raise . . . leaving an unfulfilling relationship . . . facing the future? Whatever your fear, here is your chance to push through it once and for all. In this enduring guide to self-empowerment, Dr. Susan Jeffers inspires us with dynamic techniques and profound concepts that have helped countless people grab hold of their fears and move forward with their lives. Inside you’ll discover
    • what we are afraid of, and why
    • how to move from victim to creator
    • the secret of making no lose decisions
    • the vital 10-step process that helps you outtalk the negative chatterbox in your brain
    • how to create more meaning in your life
    And so much more!
    With insight and humor, Dr. Jeffers shows you how to become powerful in the face of your fears–and enjoy the elation of living a creative, joyous, loving life.
  • The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Mary-Frances O'Connor - In The Grieving Brain, neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. O’Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, and in this book, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm, and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, or how to imagine a future without them. 
  • Undaunted Hope: Stories of Healing from Trauma, Depression, and Addictions by Claudia Black - Undaunted Hope recounts that even in some of the most complex and dire  situations, people can and do recover and find happiness. Through the narratives of twenty-one alumni from The Meadows, a world-renowned treatment facility headquartered in Arizona, there is great potential for readers to see themselves in parts of the stories—and ultimately find the courage to ask for help. Each story is told in the alumnus’s own words, revealing the origins of their struggles, the chaotic course of events leading up to treatment, what help entailed, and how their lives became richer, fuller, and more hopeful once they were willing to take the first step toward healing. In this urgent and timely narrative, The Meadows presents the stories of the therapeutic work that occurs in its facilities, recognizing that trauma is most often the underlying issue to people’s struggles. The groundbreaking work at The Meadows has been validated by the landmark Adverse Childhood Experience Study (ACES) carried out by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for the past twenty-five years. These studies repetitively demonstrate the relationship of various traumas to mental health, substance abuse, and behavioral health care problems. For more than forty-five years, The Meadows has been addressing these issues with complex clients.

Al-Anon

  • As We Understood by Al-Anon - Spirituality, Al-Anon style. Members share their understanding of the spiritual ideas and tools of the Al-Anon program.
  • One Day At a Time by AI-Anon - Inspirational readings relate Al‑Anon philosophy to everyday situations, helping to make each day better than the one before.
  • Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses by Al-Anon - From Contents - Grief as a Process; Living with the Family Disease of Alcoholism; Loss of the Dream; Grieving for Our Childhood; Loss in Relationships; Death of a Loved One; Dealing with Our Feelings; Taking Care of Ourselves Spiritual Growth from Grieving.
  • How AI-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by AI-Anon - Al-Anon's basic book discusses the mutual-help program of recovery, including personal stories. A beginning approach to the Twelve Concepts of Service is included.
  • The 12 Steps: A Way Out by Friends in Recovery - Twelve-step program workbook including individual exercises and suggestions for group activities.
  • A Good First Step: A First Step Workbook for Twelve Step Programs by Richard A. Hamel M.S. - Using a structured format, this helpful booklet allows us to take this important "make or break" recovery step.

Addiction

  • The Big Book by Alcoholics Anonymous - Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the “Big Book,” presents the A.A. program for recovery from alcoholism. First published in 1939, its purpose was to show other alcoholics how the first 100 people of A.A. got sober. 
  • A.A. for the Older Alcoholic-Never Too Late by Alcoholics Anonymous - Eight alcoholics share their stories of finding recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous after the age of 60. Far from feeling that their lives are over, these men and women express that, having come to A.A., it is time to start living.
  • As Bill Sees It by Alcoholics Anonymous - A source of comfort and inspiration, this collection of Bill W.’s writings addresses themes such as acceptance, gratitude and spirituality. Excerpted from the Big Book, the "Twelve and Twelve," Grapevine and other A.A. literature. 
  • Living Sober by Alcoholics Anonymous - This practical booklet demonstrates through simple examples how A.A. members throughout the world live and stay away from that "first drink" one day at a time. Covers topics such as attending events where alcohol is served, relationships in sobriety and much more.
  • Never Enough The NeuroScience and Experience of Addiction by Judith Grisel - From a renowned behavioral neuroscientist and recovering addict, a rare page-turning work of science that draws on personal insights to reveal how drugs work, the dangerous hold they can take on the brain, and the surprising way to combat today's epidemic of addiction. Judith Grisel was a daily drug user and college dropout when she began to consider that her addiction might have a cure, one that she herself could perhaps discover by studying the brain. Now, after twenty-five years as a neuroscientist, she shares what she and other scientists have learned about addiction, enriched by captivating glimpses of her personal journey.
  • Understanding Addiction: Know Science, No Stigma by Dr. Charles Smith and Dr. Jason Hunt - In Understanding Addiction: Know Science, No Stigma, doctors Chuck Smith and Jason Hunt bring a unique and important perspective to the subject of addiction. Experts in the field, Smith and Hunt have personal, firsthand experience with the humiliation and shame that accompanies substance use disorder. But addiction, as they point out, is a disease, no less so than diabetes or heart disease, and it needs to be treated as such. If you, or a loved one, is struggling with addiction, you'll find help in Smith and Hunt's book. When one understands the science behind addiction, one can begin to move forward. Beyond the stigma lies hope.
  • In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by MD Gabor Mate - Based on Gabor Maté’s two decades of experience as a medical doctor and his groundbreaking work with the severely addicted on Vancouver’s skid row, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts radically reenvisions this much misunderstood field by taking a holistic approach. Dr. Maté presents addiction not as a discrete phenomenon confined to an unfortunate or weak-willed few, but as a continuum that runs throughout (and perhaps underpins) our society; not a medical "condition" distinct from the lives it affects, rather the result of a complex interplay among personal history, emotional, and neurological development, brain chemistry, and the drugs (and behaviors) of addiction. Simplifying a wide array of brain and addiction research findings from around the globe, the book avoids glib self-help remedies, instead promoting a thorough and compassionate self-understanding as the first key to healing and wellness.
  • Sober On a Drunk Planet: Giving up Alcohol by Sean Alexander - Sober on a Drunk Planet: Giving Up Alcohol recognizes how difficult it is to break free of drinking culture and provides you with all the motivation you need to kickstart a new life. Inside, you'll discover: Why you need to reframe the idea of 'giving up' – and how doing so will make all the difference to your success ; The incredible transformation you'll see in your body when you stop drinking (there are subtle side effects you're not even aware of until you stop) ; Why your bank balance will thank you for cutting out alcohol (and it reaches far beyond the money you'll save) ; How alcohol affects every relationship in your life – and how its absence does the same (but with greater rewards) ; The negative feedback loop you didn't know you were creating – and how breaking free is the key to huge personal growth ; What you can learn from David Bowie…the 12-step program and how cutting out alcohol creates the perfect space to do so; How to thrive as alcohol-free within an alcohol-obsessed workplace; Why choosing a life without drinks could be the answer to transforming your career; How to navigate the practicalities of being sober on a drunk planet – and why you'll want to. 
  • Overcoming Addictions: The Spiritual Solution by Deepak Chopra MD - Society has claimed its victims; dependency upon food, drugs, caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol and sex has taken its toll on many. Deepak Chopra explores the motivation behind these addictions and attempts to teach the listener how to overcome them. Chopra has a charming speaking style full of spirituality and deep commitment to truth. He possesses an inner wisdom and "knowing" that attracts and mesmerizes listeners. His hypnotic performance soothes and relaxes, creating the perfect atmosphere for absorbing spiritual teachings.

Love

  • 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - In the #1 New York Times international bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.
  • Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman - Gary, with more than 35 years of counseling couples, believes that divorce is the lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as intimate teammates. So he put together this practical little book, packed with wisdom and tips that will help many develop the loving, supportive and mutually beneficial marriage men and women long for. It’s the type of information Gary himself wished he had before he got married.
  • Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson - In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships. The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection. Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection. 
  • Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, J. Keith Miller - Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships. 
  • Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody - Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship.
  • Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown - In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. As she maps the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection, she gives us the language and tools to access a universe of new choices and second chances—a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that builds connection.
  • Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find- and keep- love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory – the most advanced relationship science in existence today – can help us find and sustain love.
  • The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy by John Gottman PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD - "
    What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love. The Love Prescription distills their life’s work into a bite-size, seven-day action plan with easy, immediately actionable steps. There will be no grand gestures and no big, hard conversations. There’s nothing to buy or do to prepare. Anyone can do this, from any starting point."
  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman PhD and Nan Silver - "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else."
  • What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John Gottman PhD and Nan Silver - "shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers". He describes how the outcome of "sliding door moments", small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected nonsexual ways that couples often betray each other.  What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will help them repair and maintain any long-term, intimate romantic relationship." 
  • The Man's Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Douglas Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams M.D., and Lara Love Hardin - "Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man? Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love."
  • The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire - "Leading relationship expert and best selling author Dr. John Gottman presents a revolutionary five-step program for repairing troubled relationships - with spouses, children, friends, and even colleagues. Drawing on a host of powerful new studies Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive.Introducing the empowering concept of the "emotional bid," Gottman shows that all good relationships are built through a process of making and receiving successful bids. His simple yet life-transforming program shows listeners how to become master bidders by effectively turning toward others. He draws on the latest research to show listeners how the brain's unique emotional command systems, as well as each person's emotional heritage - their upbringing, life experiences, and enduring vulnerabilities - affect how they make and receive bids, and how to make adjustments. He then introduces a set of enjoyable and remarkably effective ways to deepen connections by finding shared meaning and honoring one another's dreams. The final chapter offers specially tailored programs for life's most important relationships: with lovers or spouses, children, adult siblings, friends, and co-workers."
  • Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams M.D. - "Strengthen and deepen your love with a fun, ingenious program of eight life-changing conversations—on essential topics such as money, sex, and trust—from two of the world’s leading marriage researchers and clinicians.  Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range—from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put Into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions—will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before—and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve."
  • Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence by  Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss - The basic question, "What comprises hot, healthy sex?" set us on a quest. Mirror of Intimacy contains a year’s worth of daily reflections that explore and support the range of human sexualities as a divine gift and a human right. The reflections reference a rich array of approaches: attachment theory, mind/body nexus, neurobiology, 12-step principles, meditation techniques, Eastern and Western philosophy, and ancient world myths. 
  • What Turns You On?: A Guide to Living Your Best Sex Life by  Alexandra Katehakis - What Turns You On? is a workbook designed to help you get honest with yourself about how you define sex so you can have explicit and meaningful exchanges with a sexual partner. By focusing on the topic of sexual pleasure – what form that takes and what it means to you- you’ll begin to reduce any shame you have and discover your authentic sexuality. Shame can run the gamut from self-consciousness to judging body parts to seeing your sexuality as something gross, wrong, or the “enemy.” Whatever the case may be, it’s time to heal and reclaim your body as a source of comfort, pleasure, and eroticism.
  • Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski PhD - For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. In the years since the book’s initial publication, countless women have learned through Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual well-being; they are central to it - and that even if you don’t always feel like it, you are already sexually whole by just being yourself. This revised and updated edition continues that mission with new information and advanced research, demystifying and decoding the science of sex so that everyone can create a better sex life and discover more pleasure than you ever thought possible.
  • Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily Nagoski PhD - Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships. Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true. So, what is true? Come Together isn’t about how much we want sex, or how often we’re having it; it’s about whether we like the sex we’re having. Nagoski breaks down the obstacles that impede us from enjoying sex—from stress and body image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex “should” be—and presents the best ways to overcome them.
  • Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori A. Brotto PhD  - studies show that approximately half of all women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives, with lack of interest in sex being by far the most common - and the most distressing. And when sex suffers, so do all other areas of life.   But it doesn't have to be that way. In Better Sex Through Mindfulness, acclaimed psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto offers a groundbreaking approach to improving desire, arousal, and satisfaction inside - and outside of - the bedroom.

Bereavement

  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - In this remarkable book, Dr. Kübler-Ross first explored the now-famous five stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Through sample interviews and conversations, she gives readers a better understanding of how imminent death affects the patient, the professionals who serve that patient, and the patient's family, bringing hope to all who are involved.
  • On Life after Death by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - A collection of inspiring essays with frank and compassionate advice for those dealing with terminal illness or the death of a loved one, from the pioneering author of On Death and Dying and On Grief and Grieving
  • On Grief  and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing. This is “a fitting finale and tribute to the acknowledged expert on end-of-life matters” (Good Housekeeping).
  • I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel - The grief book that just "gets it."  Whether you're grieving the sudden loss of a loved one or helping someone else through their grief, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye offers a comforting hand to help guide you through the grieving process, from the first few weeks to the longer-term emotional and physical effects. It then reveals some of the myths of the grieving process and what really happens as you navigate through the pain.
  • It's Okay Not to Be Okay: Moving Forward One Day at a Time by Sheila Walsh - We've all experienced that moment where we wish we could start all over again. Failed marriages, lost friends, addictions, lost jobs. This is not the life we imagined. Yesterday can sometimes leave us stuck, sad, shamed, scared, and searching. Sheila Walsh encourages readers to face the pain head on and then start again, from right where they are. She shares that when she discovered "I'm not good enough and I'm good with that," everything started to change.
  • Your Grief, Your Way by Shelby Forsythia - Your Grief, Your Way features: Multiple ways to process grief: Find relief through short meditations, mindful reframings, journaling prompts, concrete actions, and more. A year of daily messages of comfort: Each page includes a quote and a short paragraph about grief along with a practical tip--something you can do to tend to your grief. Comfort and practicality in short spurts: Discover strength and support in these bite-size nuggets, since grief reduces the ability to focus. Quotes from a wide range of grievers: Tend to your grief with thoughtful words of people who have been in your shoes.
  • The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller - Noted psychotherapist Francis Weller provides an essential guide for navigating the deep waters of sorrow and loss in this lyrical yet practical handbook for mastering the art of grieving. Describing how Western patterns of amnesia and anesthesia affect our capacity to cope with personal and collective sorrows, Weller reveals the new vitality we may encounter when we welcome, rather than fear, the pain of loss. Through moving personal stories, poetry, and insightful reflections, he leads us into the central energy of sorrow and to the profound healing and heightened communion with each other and our planet that reside alongside it.

Personality Disorders

  • Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Kit: The Road Back to Sanity by Dee Gardner - This book is written to provide practical, real strategies to show you how to heal and recover from the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse. Within the pages of this special recovery guide, the author revealed how to deal with the impacts of narcissistic abuse and shared practical steps that will help you move forward beyond self-doubt and fear to create a life of peace and meaningful purpose.
  • You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One by Steven Stosny - Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent.
  • Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger - Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are 'walking on eggshells' to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is 'yes,' someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life. 
  • The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating by Kiera Van Gelder - “Kiera Van Gelder's first suicide attempt at the age of twelve marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships-all of which eventually led to doctors' belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder twenty years later. The Buddha and the Borderline is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman's fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder. This haunting, intimate memoir chronicles both the devastating period that led to Kiera's eventual diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and a few online dates gone wrong. Kiera's story sheds light on the private struggle to transform suffering into compassion for herself and others, and is essential reading for all seeking to understand what it truly means to recover and reclaim the desire to live.”
  • When a Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Compassionate Guide to Building a Healthy and Supportive Relationship by Daniel S. Lobel PhD. - Loving someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be complex and overwhelming. This guide provides compassionate strategies and exercises to help you set boundaries, practice self-care, and build a healthier and more supportive relationship.
  • When your Mother has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Adult Children by Daniel S. Lobel PhD - Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult―but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process. Find ways to reconcile your complicated thoughts and feelings with straightforward and easy-to-use techniques. You’ll also discover a number of sample dialogues that give you blueprints for safe and secure interactions in a variety of situations.
  • Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder: Communication Skills to Manage Intense Emotions, Set Boundaries, and Reduce Conflict by Jerold J. Kreisman MD. - In this compassionate guide, Jerold Kreisman—author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me—offers a powerful set of tools to help you express yourself, set boundaries, and cultivate healthy communication with a loved one who is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). 
  • Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family-Eleanor Payson - Helping people reclaim their lives from this sinister exploitative force is the mission behind Payson's book, The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family. Using simple metaphors from the American classic, The Wizard of Oz, Payson illustrates how Dorothy's journey captures all the seductive illusions and challenges that occur when we encounter the narcissist. 
  • The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Washing: The Experience and Treatment of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Judith L. Rapoport - Cleaning, counting, washing, avoiding, checking—these are some of the pointless rituals that sufferers are powerless to stop. Now a distinguished psychiatrist and expert on OCD reveals exciting breakthroughs in diagnosis, successful new behaviorist therapies and drug treatments, as well as lists of resources and references. Drawing on the extraordinary experiences of her patients, Dr. Judith Rapoport unravels the mysteries surrounding this irrational disorder . . . and provides prescriptions for action that promise hope and help.

Spirituality/Self-Growth


  • The Pocket by Pema Chodron, Eden Steinberg - Pema Chödrön, beloved Buddhist nun and best-selling author, offers this treasury of 108 short selections from her more than four decades of study and writings. Here she presents teachings on breaking free of destructive patterns; developing patience, kindness, and joy amid our everyday struggles; becoming fearless; and unlocking our natural warmth, intelligence, and goodness. 
  • Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships by Kelly McDaniel. - Ready to Heal provides an opportunity for women to break free from painful addictive relationships. Kelly McDaniel provides the reader with the tools they will need to move along the path of living a life where intimacy is possible. Readers have an opportunity to begin to "connect the dots" in their own relationship patterns by following the stories of four brave women.
  • The Anger Management Workbook for Women: A 5-Step Guide to Managing Your Emotions and Breaking the Cycle of Anger by Julie Catalano - Understand, work through, and take control of your anger with this practical 5-step strategy. When women choose to address their anger management problems, they often do so with feelings of shame or regret―but beginning to work on the issue is a brave first step. The Anger Management Workbook for Women provides an actionable plan that will help you understand the source of your anger, release the pervasive guilt that often results from negative behaviors, and learn strategies for managing anger now and in the future.
  • Anger Management Workbook for Men: Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions by Aaron Karmin - Be the bigger man with straightforward strategies for managing your anger. Are you ready to take control of your anger? Clinical Therapist Aaron Karmin teaches you the skills to manage your anger without aggression and build up your self-confidence, self-control, and self-respect.The Anger Management Workbook for Men goes beyond why men get angry and helps you get to the root of your anger.
  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine - Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
  • Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen - Build stronger relationships with strategies grounded in attachment theory. Attachment theory explores the different ways we develop connections with others. If you’re searching for a way to create stronger, healthier, and more authentic relationships with the people you love, The Attachment Theory Workbook can help. It’s your guide to understanding your own attachment style and exploring actionable exercises to improve honesty, intimacy, and communication with your partner, family, or close friends.
  • Unstuck: Move from Powerless to Empowered in Your Relationships by Charlene Benson - Are You Stuck in a Relationship Ditch? Finding yourself in in conflict in a relationship—for the first or umpteenth time—leads to feeling frustrated and powerless, like you’re stuck in a ditch. Relationship coach Charlene Benson shows you how to experience change and gain momentum by helping you:  Understand the hidden reasons that drive your behaviors ; Ditch old patterns and embrace a healthier way of loving and experiencing love ; Discover powerful pathways to help you avoid giving up in defeat or getting stuck at an impasse ; Choose effective responses over toxic reactions.
  • How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage by Milan Yerkovich, Kay Yerkovich. - Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. 
  • How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self  by Nicole LePera - In How to Do the Work, she offers both a manifesto for Self Healing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell. In How to Do the Work, Dr. LePera offers readers the support and tools that will allow them to break free from destructive behaviors to reclaim and recreate their lives. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, this is a celebration of empowerment that will forever change the way we approach mental wellness and self-care.
  • Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN by Tara Brach - In this heartfelt and deeply practical book, she offers an antidote: an easy-to-learn four-step meditation that quickly loosens the grip of difficult emotions and limiting beliefs. Each step in the meditation practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) is brought to life by memorable stories shared by Tara and her students as they deal with feelings of overwhelm, loss, and self-aversion, with painful relationships, and past trauma--and as they discover step-by-step the sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom alive within all of us.
  • Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s twenty years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.
  • Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel - Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
  • Loving Kindness by Sharon Salzberg - In this inspiring book, Sharon Salzberg, one of America's leading spiritual teachers, shows us how the Buddhist path of lovingkindness can help us discover the radiant, joyful heart within each of us. 
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfeld - A Path with Heart is filled with practical techniques, guided meditations, stories, koans, and other gems of wisdom that can help ease your journey through the world. 
  • Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability. Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. 
  • Peace in Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh - Lucidly and beautifully written, PEACE IS EVERY STEP contains commentaries and meditations, personal anecdotes and stories from Nhat Hanh's experiences as a peace activist, teacher, and community leader.
  • Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh - In this beautiful and lucid guide, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh offers gentle anecdotes and practical exercise as a means of learning the skills of mindfulness--being awake and fully aware. From washing the dishes to answering the phone to peeling an orange, he reminds us that each moment holds within it an opportunity to work toward greater self-understanding and peacefulness.
  • Twelve Steps to Compassion by Karen Armstrong - Karen Armstrong believes that while compassion is intrinsic in all human beings, each of us needs to work diligently to cultivate and expand our capacity for compassion. Here, in this straightforward, thoughtful, and thought-provoking book, she sets out a program that can lead us toward a more compassionate life.
  • A Course in Miracles by Helen Schucman - A Course In Miracles (ACIM) is a unique spiritual self-study program designed to awaken us to the truth of our oneness with God and Love.
  • A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson - Marianne Williamson shares her reflections on A Course in Miracles and her insights on the application of love in the search for inner peace. Williamson reveals how we each can become a miracle worker by accepting God and by the expression of love in our daily lives. Whether psychic pain is in the area of relationships, career, or health, she shows us how love is a potent force, the key to inner peace, and how by practicing love we can make our own lives more fulfilling while creating a more peaceful and loving world for our children.
  • The Seeker’s Guide by Elizabeth Lesser - In The Seeker's Guide, she synthesizes the lessons learned from an immersion into the world's wisdom traditions and intertwines them with illuminating stories from her daily life. Recounting her own trials and errors and offering meditative exercises, she shows the reader how to create a personal practice, gauge one's progress, and choose effective spiritual teachers and habits. 
  • Dance of Anger by Elizabeth Lesser - In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. 
  • *A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - In A New Earth, Tolle expands on these powerful ideas to show how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world. Tolle describes how our attachment to the ego creates the dysfunction that leads to anger, jealousy, and unhappiness, and shows readers how to awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow the path to a truly fulfilling existence.
  • *The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle - Tolle introduces readers to enlightenment and its natural enemy, the mind. He awakens readers to their role as a creator of pain and shows them how to have a pain-free identity by living fully in the present. The journey is thrilling, and along the way, the author shows how to connect to the indestructible essence of our Being, "the eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death."
  • Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn - Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn maps out a simple path for cultivating mindfulness in our lives, and awakening us to the unique beauty and possibilities of each present moment. He shows us how this simple meditation technique can enable us to be truly in touch with where we already are, so that we can be fully aware at all times. 
  • Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn - Now, with Coming to Our Senses, he provides the definitive book for our time on the connection between mindfulness and our physical and spiritual wellbeing. With scientific rigor, poetic deftness, and compelling personal stories, Jon Kabat-Zinn examines the mysteries and marvels of our minds and bodies, describing simple, intuitive ways in which we can come to a deeper understanding, through our senses, of our beauty, our genius, and our life path in a complicated, fear-driven, and rapidly changing world.
  • The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav - Explains how we create our experiences with the strength of our own thoughts and traces the path of the soul's evolution in a description of the human ability to transform life experiences.
  • The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A Singer - What would it be like to free yourself from limitations and soar beyond your boundaries? What can you do each day to discover inner peace and serenity? The Untethered Soul offers simple yet profound answers to these questions.
  • The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra - Based on natural laws that govern all of creation, this book shatters the myth that success is the result of hard work, exacting plans, or driving ambition. Instead, Deepak Chopra offers a life-altering perspective on the attainment of success: When we understand our true nature and learn to live in harmony with natural law, a sense of well-being, good health, fulfilling relationships, and material abundance spring forth easily and effortlessly.
  • The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Huff - The how of Pooh? The Tao of who? The Tao of Pooh?! In which it is revealed that one of the world’s great Taoist masters isn’t Chinese—or a venerable philosopher—but is in fact none other than that effortlessly calm, still, reflective bear: A. A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh! While Eeyore frets, and Piglet hesitates, and Rabbit calculates, and Owl pontificates, Pooh just is.
  • The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo - His spiritual daybook is a summons to reclaim aliveness, liberate the self, take each day one at a time, and savor the beauty offered by life's unfolding. Reading his poetic prose is like being given second sight, exposing the reader to life's multiple dimensions, each one drawn with awe and affection.
  • The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho - Paulo Coelho's masterpiece tells the magical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure as extravagant as any ever found. The story of the treasures Santiago finds along the way teaches us, as only a few stories can, about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts, learning to read the omens strewn along life's path, and, above all, following our dreams.
  • The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck - Drawing on the experiences of his career as a psychiatrist, Scott Peck combines scientific and spiritual views to guide us through the difficult, painful times in life by showing us how to confront our problems through the key principles of discipline, love and grace.
  • Beyond Fear by Don Miguel Ruiz - Providing instruction in the basic elements of the Toltec spiritual practice, this collection of ceremonies, wisdom, and prophecies empowers readers to shed their fears, judgments, and guilt—an essential step before practicing the Four Agreements. 
  • The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz - In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.
  • Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz - In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, Ruiz shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships.
  • Spirituality of Imperfection by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham - The Spirituality Of Imperfection brings  together stories from many spiritual and philosophical paths, weaving past traditions into a  spirituality and a new way of thinking and living that works today. It speaks so anyone who yearns to find meaning within suffering. Beyond theory and technique, inside this remarkable book you will find a new way of thinking, a way of living that enables a truly human existence.
  •  Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein - A heart-wrenching but deeply funny and ultimately uplifting story of family, love, loyalty, and hope, The Art of Racing in the Rain is a beautifully crafted and captivating look at the wonders and absurdities of human life…as only a dog could tell it.
  • The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche - The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, written by Sogyal Rinpoche, is the ultimate introduction to Tibetan Buddhist wisdom. An enlightening, inspiring, and comforting manual for life and death .
  • Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl - Viktor Frankl’s riveting account of his time in the Nazi concentration camps, and his insightful exploration of the human will to find meaning in spite of the worst adversity, has offered solace and guidance to generations of readers since it was first published in 1946. 
  • Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell - Malcolm Gladwell takes us on an intellectual journey through the world of "outliers"--the best and the brightest, the most famous and the most successful. He asks the question: what makes high-achievers different?
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by McKay, Wood, Brantley - The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, a collaborative effort from three esteemed authors, offers straightforward, step-by-step exercises for learning these concepts and putting them to work for real and lasting change. Start by working on the introductory exercises and, after making progress, move on to the advanced-skills chapters. Whether you are a professional or a general reader, whether you use this book to support work done in therapy or as the basis for self-help, you'll benefit from this clear and practical guide to better managing your emotions.
  • The Disease to Please by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph. D - People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage. Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.
  • The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Deborah Ford - Through the stories and exercises in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford shows us not only how to recognize our hidden emotions, but also how to find the gifts they offer us. 
  • The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson - Her practical, action-oriented program outlines 12 strategies to transform your life one month at a time, each one challenging you to alter one behavior that's blocking your path. Chapters include "End the Legacy of Deprivation," "Find Your Passion," "The Absolute No List," and "Does That Anger Taste Good?" (Hint: it really doesn’t.)
  • The Illustrated Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris - The practice of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is made even more accessible in this fun, easy-to-understand, and illustrated companion to The Happiness Trap. There’s this idea going around that we’re always supposed to be happy—and it’s making us miserable. The good news is, if you can learn to let go of that impossible expectation, your life will be a whole lot happier. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a simple, self-administered therapy that uses mindfulness to enable you to do just that. 
  • You, Happier: The 7 Neuroscience Secrets of Feeling Good Based on Your Brain Type by Daniel G. Amen - After studying more than 200,000 brain scans of people from 155 countries, Dr. Amen has discovered five primary brain types and seven neuroscience secrets that influence happiness. In You, Happier, he explains them and offers practical, science-based strategies for optimizing your happiness. Dr. Amen will teach you how t0 discover your brain type based on your personality and create happiness strategies best suited to you; improve your overall brain health to consistently enhance your mood; protect your happiness by distancing yourself from the “noise” in your head; and make seven simple decisions and ask seven daily questions to enhance your happiness.
  • Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freakouts, and Triggers by Dr. Faith G. Harper - Our brains are doing our best to help us out, but they can be real assholes sometimes. Sometimes it seems like your own brain is out to get you—melting down in the middle of the grocery store, picking fights with your date, getting you addicted to something, or shutting down completely at the worst possible moments. You already told your brain firmly that it isn't good to do these things. But your brain has a mind of its own. That's where this book comes in. With humor, patience, and lots of swearing, Dr. Faith shows you the science behind what's going on in your skull and talks you through the process of retraining your brain to respond appropriately to the non-emergencies of everyday life. 
  • Don’t Believe Everything you Think: Why Your Thinking is the Beginning & End of Suffering by Joseph Nguyen - Learn how to overcome anxiety, self-doubt & self-sabotage without needing to rely on motivation or willpower. In this book, you'll discover the root cause of all psychological and emotional suffering and how to achieve freedom of mind to effortlessly create the life you've always wanted to live. Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. This book offers a completely new paradigm and understanding of where our human experience comes from, allowing us to end our own suffering and create how we want to feel at any moment.
  • You’re Not Alone: The Only Books you’ll Ever Need to Overcome Anxiety and Depression by Zachary David Westerbeck - If you’re ready to overcome your anxiety and depression, this book is for you. Anxiety and depression can be hugely disruptive, especially for someone who has a lot on their plate, like school, an internship, a new job, or campus clubs. You might feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment about sharing what you’re going through with your friends and family. You wish these feelings would go away, but you have no idea where to even start to feel better.
  • Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World by Max Lucado - Anxious for Nothing, from pastor and New York Times bestselling author Max Lucado, provides a practical and powerful roadmap for battling with and healing from anxiety. Combining hopeful scripture with timeless stories, Max will equip you with the tools you need to overcome your anxieties, no matter what you're facing.
  • Practices for Overcoming Anxiety by Boussaidane S., M.D. - HOW TO USE THIS BOOK: This book helps you adopt tips and strategies for better managing stress and anxiety. The first part will allow you to identify the triggers, symptoms and interpretations, in order to better understand and decipher your anxiety in order to cut its circle. The second part contains self-help strategies to act on your anxiety, such as changing the way of thinking, doing exercises, changing bad habits and living healthily. Each time a focused topic you will be working on. There you'll find explanations of why you should work on it, practical tips, and a place to interact, rate, and express yourself. Keep this book with you which could quickly become your best friend. Reuse it whenever necessary.
  • Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts by Jennie Allen - In Get Out of Your Head, Jennie inspires and equips us to transform our emotions, our outlook, and even our circumstances by taking control of our thoughts. Our enemy is determined to get in our heads to make us feel helpless, overwhelmed, and incapable of making a difference for the kingdom of God. But when we submit our minds to Christ, the promises and goodness of God flood our lives in remarkable ways.
  • Stop Overthinking: Evidence-Based Tips and Techniques to Conquer Negative Thoughts, Manage Anxiety, and Quickly Calm the Mind by Linda Hill - In the modern world, overthinking is the root cause of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and depression. This overthinking guide will help you begin to recognize when you are overthinking, and your triggers for doing so. It will also give you a step-by-step guide on how to begin battling and changing those thought patterns for good. Now is the time to take action against overthinking, before it becomes a part of who you are. This book will provide you with the ability to understand your thought patterns and how to begin changing them.
  • Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety by Sally M. Winston and Martin N. Seif - Do you automatically assume the worst-case-scenario when faced with difficulty? Do you stress about situations that haven’t happened yet, or find yourself anticipating disaster around every corner? Does the prospect of making a decision leave you feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed? From subtle avoidance behaviors to the most nightmarish terrors, anticipatory anxiety is the engine that drives it all. Understanding how this hidden enemy tricks you, and, most importantly, how to overcome it, will liberate you to live a more flexible and joyful life. In Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety, two anxiety experts team up to teach you how to manage your overactive imagination, limit future-based thinking, face your fears, make decisions, and live with more freedom and joy. This must-have guide is grounded in the authors' innovative and easy-to-remember DANCE model:
  • How to Deal with How you Feel: Managing the Emotions That Make Life Unmanageable  by James Merritt -  In How to Deal with How You Feel, Dr. James Merritt will help you understand and apply the Bible’s often overlooked practical guidance for handling difficult emotions, including depression, jealousy, dissatisfaction, anxiety, rage, and loneliness. How to Deal with How You Feel is a powerful roadmap to emotional health that will provide you with simple strategies and effective tools to process even your most chaotic emotions in a spiritually beneficial way. As you read, you’ll discover how a deep-rooted faith will empower you to experience the richness of contentment, joy, and peace that transcends understanding.
  • The Anatomy of Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming the Body’s Fear Response by Ellen Vora - In The Anatomy of Anxiety, holistic psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora offers nothing less than a paradigm shift in our understanding of anxiety and mental health, suggesting that anxiety is not simply a brain disorder but a whole-body condition. In her clinical work, Dr. Vora has found time and again that the symptoms of anxiety can often be traced to imbalances in the body. The emotional and physical discomfort we experience—sleeplessness, brain fog, stomach pain, jitters—is a result of the body’s stress response. This physiological state can be triggered by challenging experiences as well as seemingly innocuous factors, such as diet and use of technology.
  • The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by Alex Korb PhD - Depression can feel like a downward spiral, pulling you into a vortex of sadness, fatigue, and apathy. In The Upward Spiral, neuroscientist Alex Korb demystifies the intricate brain processes that cause depression and offers a practical and effective approach to getting better. Based on the latest research in neuroscience, this book provides dozens of straightforward tips you can do every day to rewire your brain and create an upward spiral towards a happier, healthier life.
  • How Hard it Really Is: A Short, Honest Book about Depression by J.S. Park - How Hard It Really Is covers: * The science behind depression * The helpful (and unhelpful) dialogue around mental illness * The debate between seeing it as a choice or disease * Stories of survivors * My own attempt at suicide * A secret culture of suicide worship * An interview with a depressed doctor * The problem with finding a “cure”.
  • Offerings: Buddhist Wisdom for Every Day (Offers for Humanity) by Danielle Follmi and Olivier Follmi - More than 350 full-color photographs accompany a thought-provoking collection of wisdom, insights, knowledge, and spiritual advice from the masters of Tibetan Buddhism, in a volume that is organized into such themes as spirituality, trust, dependence, money, and ancestors.
  • The Language of Letting Go : Daily Meditations for Codependents by Melody Beattie - Written for those of us who struggle with codependency, these daily meditations offer growth and renewal, and remind us that the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own self-care.
  • No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life by Thich Nhat Hanh - With hard-won wisdom and refreshing insight, Thich Nhat Hanh confronts a subject that has been contemplated by Buddhist monks and nuns for twenty-five-hundred years— and a question that has been pondered by almost anyone who has ever lived: What is death? In No Death, No Fear, the acclaimed teacher and poet examines our concepts of death, fear, and the very nature of existence. Through Zen parables, guided meditations, and personal stories, he explodes traditional myths of how we live and die. Thich Nhat Hanh shows us a way to live a life unfettered by fear.
  • Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't) Kindle Edition by Carolyn Elliott - "A smart, sexy guide to embracing the repressed, tabooed, and often unwanted aspects of ourselves so we can discover our inner power and finally live the life we deserve. “We always get exactly what we want; but often, though we may not be aware of it, what we most want is dark—very dark.” Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality—the “other,” the shadow side—is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses—our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power. In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott, PhD, offers a truth-telling guide for bringing our shadow into the light. Inviting us to make conscious the unconscious, Elliott asks us to own the subconscious pleasure we get from the stuck, painful patterns of our existence."
  • Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy by Jenna Riemersma - “Therapist and speaker Jenna Riemersma applies the groundbreaking insights of Internal Family Systems (IFS) for anyone who feels stuck in unwanted feelings and behaviors, with a special focus on personal transformation for readers of faith. In Altogether You, she explains why our parts are so often at war—parts of us wanting to please others and do things right while other parts seem bent on acting out, shutting down, or engaging in hurtful behaviors. Jenna explores the surprising IFS insight that our warring parts are actually trying to help us, even when what they’re doing or feeling is not helpful. By genuinely welcoming all our parts and learning how to access our God-created core Self, we can finally experience the change, integration, and wholeness we’ve been looking for.”
  • Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D. - In Brain Lock, Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D., presents a simple four-step method for overcoming OCD that is so effective, it's now used in academic treatment centers throughout the world. Proven by brain-imaging tests to actually alter the brain's chemistry, this method doesn't rely on psychopharmaceuticals. Instead, patients use cognitive self-therapy and behavior modification to develop new patterns of response to their obsessions. In essence, they use the mind to fix the brain. Using the real-life stories of actual patients, Brain Lock explains this revolutionary method and provides readers with the inspiration and tools to free themselves from their psychic prisons and regain control of their lives.
  • The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu - In April 2015, Archbishop Tutu traveled to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday and to create what they hoped would be a gift for others. They looked back on their long lives to answer a single burning question: How do we find joy in the face of life's inevitable suffering They traded intimate stories, teased each other continually, and shared their spiritual practices. By the end of a week filled with laughter and punctuated with tears, these two global heroes had stared into the abyss and despair of our time and revealed how to live a life brimming with joy. This book offers us a rare opportunity to experience their astonishing and unprecendented week together, from the first embrace to the final good-bye.
  • Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear - No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving - every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights.
  • Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Legendary psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's famous investigations of "optimal experience" have revealed that what makes an experience genuinely satisfying is a state of consciousness called flow. During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life. In this new edition of his groundbreaking classic work, Csikszentmihalyi ("the leading researcher into ‘flow states’" —Newsweek) demonstrates the ways this positive state can be controlled, not just left to chance. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience teaches how, by ordering the information that enters our consciousness, we can discover true happiness, unlock our potential, and greatly improve the quality of our lives.
  • Replay by Ken Grimwood - Jeff Winston, forty-three, didn't know he was a replayer until he died and woke up twenty-five years younger in his college dorm room; he lived another life. And died again. And lived again and died again -- in a continuous twenty-five-year cycle -- each time starting from scratch at the age of eighteen to reclaim lost loves, remedy past mistakes, or make a fortune in the stock market. A novel of gripping adventure, romance, and fascinating speculation on the nature of time, Replay asks the question: "What if you could live your life over again?"
  • The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. - From the author of the internationally-acclaimed best-selling text The Developing Mind, and esteemed leader and educator in the field of mental health, comes the first book ever to integrate neuroscience research with the ancient art of mindfulness. The result is a groundbreaking approach to not simply mental health, but life in general, which shows readers how personal awareness and attunement can actually stimulate emotional circuits in the brain, leading to a host of physiological benefits, including greater well-being, resilience, emotional balance, and improved cardiac and immune function. For clinicians and laypeople alike, Siegel’s illuminating discussions of the power of the focused mind provide a wealth of ideas that can transform our lives and deepen our connections with others, and with ourselves.
  • Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom by Rick Hanson Ph.D. and Richard Mendius MD - Buddha’s Brain draws on the latest research to show how to stimulate and strengthen your brain for more fulfilling relationships, a deeper spiritual life, and a greater sense of inner confidence and worth. You’ll learn how to activate the brain states of calm, joy, and compassion instead of worry, sorrow, and anger. This clear, down-to-earth book is filled with practical tools and skills that you can use in daily life to tap the unused potential of your brain and rewire it over time for greater well-being and peace of mind.
  • Bringing Home the Dharma: Awakening Right Where You Are by Jack Kornfield - If you want to find inner peace and wisdom, you don't need to move to an ashram or monastery. Your life, just as it is, is the perfect place to be. Jack Kornfield, one of America's most respected Buddhist teachers, shares this and other key lessons gleaned from more than 40 years of committed study and practice. 
  • How People Change: Relationships and Neuroplasticity in Psychotherapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Marion F. Solomon Ph.D. -  How People Change explores the complexities of attachment, the brain, mind, and body as they aid change during psychotherapy. Research is presented about the properties of healing relationships and communication strategies that facilitate change in the social brain.
  • Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. - In this book, noted neuroscientist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., brings his characteristic sensitivity and interdisciplinary background to this most perplexing of topics. He explores the nature of the who, how, what, why, and when of your mind - of your self - from the perspective of neuroscience. Mind is the essence of our true nature, our deepest sense of being alive, here, right now, in this moment. How science explains it is truly one of the most exciting journeys into knowledge we can take. 
  • Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS, A Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 3rd Edition by Jay Earley - Understand your psyche in a clear and comprehensive way, and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. Self-Therapy makes the power of a cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has been spreading rapidly across the country and the world. It is incredibly effective on a wide variety of life issues, such as self-esteem, procrastination, depression, and relationship issues. IFS is also user-friendly; it helps you to comprehend the complexity of your psyche. Dr. Earley shows how IFS is a complete method for psychological healing that you can use on your own.
  • Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For The IFS Process by Bonnie J. Weiss LCSW - This workbook is a companion to Self Therapy by Jay Earley. It is a clear and concise description of the steps in the IFS process designed for people using IFS to do personal work on themselves or professionals introducing the material to their clients. It provides written exercises that give readers a chance to process their experience and track their internal work. It includes sample answers that clarify how to do the exercises, and illustrations that provide a visual understanding the material. There are additional chapters on working with couples and dealing with polarization.
  • Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster - Celebration of Discipline explores the "classic disciplines", or central spiritual practices, of the Christian faith. Along the way, Foster shows that it is only by and through these practices that the true path to spiritual growth can be found. Dividing the disciplines into three movements of the spirit, Foster shows how each of these areas contribute to a more balanced spiritual life. The inward disciplines of mediation, prayer, fasting, and study offer avenues of personal examination and change. The outward disciplines of simplicity, solitude, submission, and service prepare us to make the world a better place. The corporate disciplines of confession, worship, guidance, and celebration bring us nearer to one another and to God.
  • The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman - The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations from Emperor Marcus Aurelius, playwright Seneca, and slave-turned-philosopher Epictetus as well as lesser-known luminaries like Zeno, Cleanthes, and Musonius Rufus. Every day of the year, you'll find one of their pithy, powerful quotations as well as historical anecdotes, provocative commentary, and a helpful glossary of Greek terms. By following these teachings over the course of a year (and, indeed, for years to come), you'll find the serenity, self-knowledge, and resilience you need to live well.
  • The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World by John Mark Comer - Who are you becoming? That was the question nagging pastor and author John Mark Comer. By outward metrics, everything appeared successful. But inwardly, things weren't pretty. So he turned to a trusted mentor for guidance and heard these words: 'Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. Hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life.' It wasn't the response he expected, but it continues to be the answer he needs. 
  • Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools: An Invitation to the Wonder and Mystery of Prayer by Tyler Staton - Within the pages of Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools, Staton addresses common roadblocks to prayer and gives you the confidence to come to God just as you are. Through timely biblical teaching, powerful storytelling, and insights on historic Christian practices, Staton gives you the tools you need to: Express your doubts and disappointments about prayer, Discover and practice multiple postures of prayer, including silence, persistence, confession, and more, Understand and embrace the wonder and mystery of prayer in everyday life, Open or reopen the line of communication with your Creator and experience afresh his divine power on earth.
  • Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins  - For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare -- poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a U.S. Armed Forces icon and one of the world's top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events, inspiring Outside magazine to name him "The Fittest (Real) Man in America."

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Susan Zola, LCSW, CCPS, CSAT
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